Keep Holding On
by wilsonatics
Summary: Sonny Kiriakis is a vibrant, always smiley young man who has an extremely tight knit relationship with his family. But after an incredibly traumatic experience, his life is changed forever. He decides to go to therapy to consult Dr. Marlena Evans. There, he meets a certain blond man by the name of Will Horton, who just may be his ticket out of misery and despair!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is a BRAND NEW story of mine, inspired by an idea from my girl Roxy. It'll touch upon some new themes and I hope you guys like it :)**

**June 6****th****, 2013**

_I have no idea what to expect today. It's my first therapy session and I am going to be completely honest. It is scaring the shit out of me. But you know what? I need it. It's really going to help me. This was my mother's idea. She thinks that it's going to help me get through this hard time of mine and who blames her? She only wants what's best for her son and I totally get that. I'm just really afraid and not looking forward to discussing my problems with a shrink._

_It all started a month ago and ever since then, my life has been in the crapper, not gonna lie. I've been sulking and I have been completely shut off to the world. I don't want to be near anybody right now, let alone a psychiatrist. What I need right now is for what happened to me to just disappear from my life. Every single night I wish it never happened. I'm not a very religious person, but I've been praying for some sort of miracle, some sort of sign that everything was going to be okay. Sadly, I have yet to see anything of that sort._

_Tears. I've shed so many tears that if I count them, I'd be here till the next century. I hate myself for what happened. It's all my fault and I will forever feel that way because I... I can't even say it, it pains me so much. My mom thinks I'm a fool for holding myself responsible. She believes that I am not at fault and the guilt is making me feel miserable and depressed. Well, guess what Mon? I am miserable and depressed because it IS my fault. Nobody can make me feel otherwise._

_I'm seriously hoping that I only have one session with Marlena. Yeah, she's a wonderful therapist, but I kinda wanna be alone like all the time. I'm sure she's gonna tell me that it's the worst possible thing I could do, to bury myself in my misery and close myself off to the outside world, to those that love me, but having people around me, especially those I love, with those looks of sadness and everything, I hate it. And it's not like I can prevent it, right? From now on, people are going to look at me differently and there's nothing I can do about it._

_I've decided to start up a journal. I figured it'd maybe help me. Plus, maybe I wouldn't have to go to therapy as much. _

_Anyways, my appointment is in like half an hour so I should probably get going. Wish me luck. Anyone._

* * *

I walked up to the office building somewhat gloomily. I was dressed in my favourite hoodie and sweatpants and honestly, that's all I've been wearing for the past month. I brought with me my companion for the month, my box of Kleenex. I think I used five boxes in all and I wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. I had my earphones plugged into my ears, my own way of shutting off the rest of the world. I have been listening to mostly sad, depressing music, music that normally I would never consider but given the circumstances, it's my best option.

I stepped through the front door and walked over to the elevator. I glanced over to the numbers that stoop above the elevator door and sighed. There were 25 floors in this building and Marlena's office was at the 20th and the elevator was now on the 17th. This was going to take a little while and I really didn't feel like dragging on this experience any longer that it had to be. After a good 10 minutes (I guess there were people on every single fucking floor), the elevator finally reached the ground floor and I slowly stepped in.

The ride up was thankfully extremely peaceful. Not a single person came in so I was in complete solitude, just the way I like it. When the elevator ceased at the 20th floor, I once again nonchalantly marched out and treaded over to the receptionist's desk.

A fairly young woman, about I'd say 23 years old, greeted me with such a smile that truly irked me. Seeing anybody happy actually really annoyed me. I know it's bad but I felt that seeing someone happy meant they took my happiness away from me. "Hello! Welcome to Dr. Marlena's offices. Do you have an appointment?"

I simply nodded and stated the name the appointment was under, mine. She nodded and explained to me that Marlena was already with someone at the moment and that I could have a seat in the waiting room. So I did. I sat down and waited. I skimmed through a couple magazines, browsed through my music library, shut my eyes for a bit. I pondered the meeting. To be quite honest, I was dreading it. This was the last thing I had wanted to do. Talking about my feeling and thoughts for hours on end was not my thing, especially after the incident. But I knew I needed to do it to get better and for my mom's sake.

After a few minutes of questioning and wondering, the door Marlena's office flew open and I heard bouts of laughter and saw smiles painted on Marlena and her guest's faces. Her guest was a young man, about 20 years old, short blond hair, blue eyes. He definitely was related to her, I thought. I stood up gently and walked over to Marlena and her guest to whom I plainly nodded and entered the room. I dropped myself onto the couch and just continued waiting. I glanced over to the pair and they seemed extremely happy. Both were laughing and smiling and then I noticed the man glance over to me and I immediately turned my head in a little shame.

As soon as I heard the door close, I quickly put my earphones and iPod away and turned my head back to Marlena who whispered a little hi and waved her hand to me to which I returned the nice gesture. I wasn't going to be an ass to her, definitely not. She's only doing her job.

"So where do we begin?" she started, taking her note pad and a pen and settling down on the chair parallel to what I could only assume to be the patient's couch.

I had no idea what to respond to a seemingly simple question. I myself did not know where to begin. "I, uh... don't..."

"It's okay. Take your time. You are my biggest priority write now." This made me feel a little more at ease than when I walked into the building.

"Thank you. Can I be honest?" I needed to let he know the truth, more so than with anyone else. "I'd expect nothing less," she responded with a smirk and a tilt of the head. You can tell that she was really attentive to me.

"I don't wanna be here. This was my mom's idea and I did it to please her," I confessed. "This was the last resort, for me anyway."

"I understand why you wouldn't want to be here. Your mom informed me on what happened and I could not express my apologies further. It's truly awful and I am sorry." She leaned over and slipped her and hand in my hand. Right then and there, I lost it. My eyes got watery, my lips curled, my mind just completely transformed from depression to full on sadness and strain. I squeezed tightly Marlena's hand and dropped my head in tears. Needless to say, I was sobbing.

I immediately was just taken over with emotion. When Marlena said she was sorry, I just remembered all the sorrys I had heard prior to hers and imaged flashed before my head of all those people and to that moment last month. I needed to breath and get some air. I suddenly felt an arm spread itself across my shoulders. I turned over to my right and saw Marlena next to me. She was rocking me back and forth and murmured small "shh"s. I rested my head on her shoulder and just let loose. The tears streamed down my face and onto the doctor's blouse. She did not care because she just continued to comfort as best she could. "Take your time, honey. Take your time." She repeated that a few times to make sure I understood.

I pulled back from the embrace for a few seconds to wipe away my tears. I attempted to confess to everything but nothing came out. I sat there, starring into the therapist's eyes looking like a fool with his mouth open and nothing. I needed more time than the session permitted. We weren't even half way through the session when I decided that I couldn't take much longer.

"I'm so sorry. I-I need to go..." I took my iPod and everything I had with me and jolted out the door. It was way too much for me to handle. I don't even think I could go back there.

As I walked past the receptionist's desk, I heard my name being called continuously behind me with greater frequency each time. I also noticed the same blond kid from earlier just stare at me as I escaped. I turned the corner and stopped the running. I backed up against the wall and fell to the ground in tears. I buried my face in my knees and prayed it'd all go away. I heard some mumbling in the background and my name being pronounced again.

"Who's that, Grandma?" spoke an unknown voice.

"That's Sonny. Sonny Kiriakis."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello, you've reached the offices of Doctor Marlena Evans. My name is Tiffany, how may I help you?" answered the receptionist from Marlena's offices. I needed to schedule another appointment especially after the catastrophe that occurred during the last meeting. It was absolutely embarrassing and too overwhelming. I needed another session. A session that was going to consist of me coming clean and talking about my feelings and the events of that night.

I took a few seconds to respond, just overanalyzing the situation, contemplating my decision for a second rendezvous. "Yes, uh, my name is Sonny Kiriakis. I had an appointment the other day that, well needless to say did not go as I wanted it too. So I'd like to schedule another one?"

"Oh yeah, I remember you! Plus I have you on file so it'll be a snap to book one," she simply stated. I guess I left a pretty big imprint on the office staff if even the receptionist remembers my outburst. I heard the little clicks of the keyboard and mouse in the background, probably of her making an appointment. "Okay, Mr. Kiriakis, you're next appointment will be tomorrow at 10am. Does that work for you? If not, we can move it around and find a spot more suitable to your needs." She was incredibly helpful and I valued that. Maybe my last session didn't scare her away.

"That is perfect. Thank you, Tiffany. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye," I concluded sweetly. I hung up the phone and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I felt like a weight had been lifted, a small somewhat meager weight at that, but still, I felt like my shoulders could relax a little.

I needed some air though. I've been cooped up in this apartment for weeks. The one time I actually went out was to meet up with Dr. Evans and that was a disaster. I needed to clear my head from all its clutter. This would be my first time actually taking a walk, on my own, of my own doing.

So a walk I did. I grabbed my hoodie because it was a tad bit chilli, odd for a June day. Then, I took my keys and exited my apartment. I'm not going to lie, I was nervous. I don't know what people would think of me. I am more than 100% sure my outburst made its way online. I don't know how, but it was definitely talked about. Even my mom contacted me, geez. How she found out? God only knows. Maybe Marlena called her to inform her of my condition, which would make a lot of sense. That conversation I had with my mom was very... concerning. She was practically crying on the other line which then prompted me to cry, she kept on asking me how I was doing and what I was feeling. I reassured her that I was fine. Obviously that was a big fat lie. I am not okay. Clearly.

I started my walk through the Horton Town Square. It was pretty quiet, I mean, there were people, but not enough to qualify it as a busy day in HTS. My hands in my pockets, my hood rested on my head slightly, once again my earphones plugged into my ears, I slowly waltzed around the square, staring around at the people, glanced at the sky a few times. I saw different kinds of people there. There were friend gatherings, people were laughing hysterically, others were doing some shopping. Then I saw this random girl who just busted out in a dance. It was extremely uncomfortable and kinda made me feel sorry for her. Seeing this girl dance actually made me laugh which was a rare occurrence these days. Nothing really made me laugh, nothing really made me smile. My life was blah. Yeah, blah is a good word.

I also noticed a few couples, like one or two to be precise. They seemed very happy. One was holding hands and strolling around, window shopping. The other were the quite opposite, they were sitting down on the white couch that decorated the Horton Town Square and making out quite furiously. It was very... strange and not at all hot in any way. Seeing all this love really saddened me again because I never really had a serious relationship that lasted more than like a month. And to top it all off, my last boyfriend was not exactly the laid back, chill type. When I broke up with him, he took it badly, but he surprisingly agreed to friendship. His name was...

"SONNY!" shouted a familiar voice in the background, a voice I recognized and so loud that pierced through the volume of my music. I swiftly turned around and gasped. "Jeremy? What are you doing here?"

Jeremy Hayes. My last boyfriend. Jeremy and I had been seeing each other for a good month before I realized just how douchebag-ey he really was. He constantly attempted to get me to sleep with him even if I refused numerous times. Amidst all this sexual frustration built up inside him, he was a good guy. He treated me right, he respected me. He wasn't abusive, verbally or physically. I truly felt like he could be the ONE. And if he had waited, maybe I would've slept with him, not that I sleep with every guy I date. He was really special to me, but his sexual drive was too much and I believed he only wanted me for the one thing I didn't want to give him. My mom loved him though. She never understood why I broke up with him and I never thought I needed to explain myself to her. It was my boyfriend, my life. She loved him primarily because of his intellectual background and the fact that he's drop dead gorgeous. That I'll admit. He's great looking.

"Jeremy, what do you want?" I spoke somewhat cold heartedly, pulling my ear buds out of my ears. Yeah I said we could remain friends but I still kept in the back of my mind what his true intentions were. "I'm sorry if that sounded harsh, I just haven't seen you in a few months."

"It's okay, I didn't take it badly. I'm just happy to see you!" He then, which took me hugely by surprise, pulled me in for a hug, a tight one too. I guess he really missed me. "Well then... It's uh, nice to see you too?" It felt awkward to me because I did not have any reserving feelings for him.

"Your mom told me what happened to. I am sooooo sorry. I'm here for you, okay?" expressed Jeremy, still hugging me tightly. I felt him snug his head into my shoulder. That's when I knew I had to break apart. "Jeremy, I-I..." Suddenly, I felt his hands move up and down my back, slowly making their further way down.

"Jeremy!" I pushed him away furiously. I know he was still using me. His hands slowly drawing out the map of my spine down to my ass, he was still that same old prick only dreamed of and wanted sex with me. I should've known. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He looked at me with such a sensual smirk that really pissed me off. I could see it in his field green eyes that he hadn't changed and it infuriated me to think that I've been reduced to some piece of God damn trash. After what I've been through, the last thing I deserved was to be treated like dirt. "You know Sonny, I haven't stopped thinking about you, about your lips, about your eyes, about your perfect ..." retorted Jeremy. He approached me once more, this time actually taking hold of my backside. He stared me down with such lust, with such yearn that it actually irked me. The grabbing grew more intense as I tried to break free from the grasp. I with quite a bit of forced, tried to wiggle my way out of his arms but he was way too strong for me and he just kept pulling me closer and closer. I banged on his chest, but all it did was arouse him more as he started whispered dirty lines in my ear. Then...

"HEY!" cried out a strange voice. "LET HIM GO!" When Jeremy finally let me go and I turned around to face my knight in shining armor, I was flabbergasted and elated. "He said to let him go so I suggest you do before I make you."

"Who the fuck are you, skinny boy?" insulted Jeremy, slowly approaching the young man, who was clearly not even in the slightest scared or apprehensive. "It's none of your God damn business, you jerk. Now I suggest you leave now before I call the cops on your ass."

And just like that, Jeremy stood there speechless, not a single sound coming out of his mouth. All I could hear were loud breaths being exhaled from his nostrils. I too was frozen but in the same nature Jeremy was. He was afraid, I was saved. Sonny's ex stared down Will one last time with a look of anger and revenge. "This is not over, blond boy." Those were his last words before he exited the square.

"Tha-Thank you..." were the only words I was able to let out without sounding completely idiotic. "Ah it's no problem. I get what it's like to have someone be aggressive and dominating."

I simply nodded and looked into his eyes for a few seconds. I knew I recognized him from somewhere, I just knew it. I furrowed my eyebrows and dropped my shoulders. I'm pretty sure he thought I was crazy for the way I stared at him, but he definitely had an incline as to who I was. We remained in silence just for a few seconds, staring at each other blindly before he uttered the first words. "Hi, I'm Will Horton. We met at my Grandma's office a few days ago. You're Sonny Kiriakis, right?"

"One in the same." I extended my hand to him to which he grabbed it and shook it gently. His hand was incredibly soft, I must say. "Listen, uh, I better go back home, I think I've had enough of the outdoors for one day. See ya later... I guess." And just as I was about to leave, he halted my every move and took hold of my arm. At first I was uneasy, but then I realized that he had a big smile on his face and his grip was quite moderate, definitely no pain there.

"I wanted to say I am sorry. This is gonna sound weird to you, but I know exactly what you're going through, you know going through therapy and all. It's not easy, lemme tell ya. I had to go through a few sessions of my own before I-"

"Let me stop you right there, okay, Will? Because you have absolutely no idea the pain, the hurt, I've been going through. You have no idea." Right there, my voice just immediately cracked and the tears streamed down my face as if they are waiting there permanently to fall. "Yeah, you can say all you want how sorry you are for what happened or that you sympathize with me, but you know what? You don't know shit! I'm sick and tired of people coming up to me telling that everything gets better and that it'll be okay and that they 'understand' me. It's complete bull crap and I'm done with it. I'm sorry, Will, you seem like a sweet guy, but I-I don't need you to rescue me." I couldn't take much more of the pain, I was in serious need of my bed and my pillow right now. Not some kid to tell me 'it gets better'. So that's what I did. I ran off and left him there. It was probably not the best thing to do, but it had to be done. I wanted, I desired loneliness. Nothing or no one could take that away.

* * *

**June 11****th****, 2013**

_It is now 11:30pm and I am completely drained from the events of today. Too many emotions, just overall too much for me to handle._

_First, my stupid asshole of an ex-boyfriend came back into my life and basically violated me in front of the fucking Horton Town Square. It's funny how no one felt the need to butt in. They see a guy grabbing onto his ex's ass, groping him, trying to force himself onto him and don't do anything about it. Maybe they thought we were wrestling or something. You know how stupid people can get. Then, the one guy who actually does come to help and actually does manage to make me feel a little more secure and supported than I have been feeling by myself I push away and call him out for trying to help. God almighty, he was just trying to help me and I acted like an asshole to him which is probably the last thing I should've done. I don't know what it is about this Horton guy, but I saw something in his eyes that suddenly made me forget about the events of the past. I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, but I saw hope in his gaze and I genuinely felt like he considerably cared about what I was going through. And to a stranger? A complete stranger? There's nobody like that anymore on this planet and I caught a glimpse of that today and totally shrugged him to the side. _

_I've been alone now for a month and a few days, precisely after the incident, and I have no friends, my family members pity me, my old friends don't wanna talk to me because they think I'm "psycho" as they described me so bluntly and I have no one to talk to. I need support. I need comfort. I need hope... I need a friend. Maybe Will was just trying to be that friend..._

_The nights are the worst though. The nightmares are getting more frequent. I just keep seeing flashy lights and hearing sirens and people yelling. It's so blurry and the images only last a couple of seconds but I just know that they are just reminders, signs that it was my entire fault. I wake up in a sweat, panting and panting like a marathon runner from the Olypmics. And it's no surprise that I can't fall asleep afterwards, not even to save my life. I wake up early, sometimes crying, sometimes just emotionless. My life has been reduced to a black and white movie from the depression era, everything motionless, and everything motionless. It used to be so colourful and joyous, like a Molly Ringwald movie. Now, it's as if it's only darkness and gloom._

_Tomorrow's my appointment with Dr. Evans. Maybe Will is gonna be there so that I can apologize to him for my behaviour. Maybe I'll finally be able to open up, finally express it in words and say it out loud what happened. So many questions and doubts, so little hope I have that they'll be answered. I guess I'll have to wait and find out where tomorrow leads me cause right now, it's looking pretty damn bad..._


	3. Chapter 3

**June 12****th****, 2013**

_Well, today is a big day for me. And if I'm going to be completely honest, I am so incredibly nervous. I barely slept last night, maybe like 3 or 4 hours total. I just kept staring at the ceiling, contemplating my life. I know, depressing right? But during this period of thought, I think I had an epiphany of some sort or actually more like a realization. I figured out, a little later than I probably should have, that in order for me to get passed what happened to me and to move on with my life not looking back on this as that moment in time where my life ended, I needed to talk, I needed to open up to someone and who better than the best therapist in town? It's gonna be hard and I've come to terms with that, but it's necessary for me. For my family. _

_My appointment is at 10am and it is now... 8:47am so I have some time to kill. While I'm on this path to recovery, I guess I should also mend the relationships I have broken or in one case, fix a relationship that could've turned into what I think would've been a great friendship. Yes, I'm talking about Will Horton. I know, I know, I've barely known the guy, but there's something about him, about his demeanor that just makes me feel terrible about the way I treated him yesterday more so than anyone else. I said this in my last journal entry that I finally saw some hope and I'm beginning to think it took the form of Will Horton. People have told me countless and countless times before that hope will arise and that I'll see my way through this. So far, in the past month or so, I have yet to see that glimmer of optimism. With any luck, if I have any left, Will is just that. When I'm done writing this entry, I'm gonna go find him and apologize. That's the least I could do, right? Plus, he seemed to genuinely care and that's extremely uncommon for strangers to care so much about other strangers. _

_You know, over the course of the last month, I have rejected anyone who even offered themselves to me and I'm through with closing myself off to the rest of the world. I was never like that before. I mean, yeah, it's normal, but I don't think it's fair for those that love to me to see me this depressed and frankly it's not fair to me... Well damn, who needs a therapist now, huh? Haha. Anyways, I should wrap this up. Lots to do today, gonna be an emotional one to. Wish me luck._

* * *

I wondered for a few minutes where Will was. I never really paid attention to him so I didn't know where he worked or where he lived so I figured I'd try my luck at the Brady Pub. Maybe Abby would know where he is if she was there.

I walked up to the Brady Pub entrance and peaked through the window that decorated the door. To my surprise, Will was actually there and he seemed to be wearing a uniform of sorts. I squinted gently to further examine the outfit and saw the pub logo on the shirt. As I entered the pub I noticed that he was in a deep conversation with my cousin, Abigail. They were laughing and talking fairly loudly. Normally, I'd be upset or sad to see such happiness but now, something was definitely different. Seeing Will's smile in fact made me smile. Now that was a rare sight.

I slowly closed the door behind me to avoid causing too much noise. I didn't want to disrupt their conversation as it seemed to be growing more and more hilarious. Will was practically on the floor with laughter. I tried to grab a seat within eye shot of the family members. However, my attempts at subtlety clearly failed. "Sonny!" I heard cry out from a distance from a household voice. Abby swiftly stood up from her seat and stepped, practically skipped my way and drew me into a nice, big hug, a comforting one.

"Hey Abby," I greeted her simply, squeezing her tightly. "How are you?" I released myself from the embrace and etched a small smile on my face. I was happy to see Abby, I haven't been around her in a couple days and she has been the only "friend" of mine through all of this.

"I'm fairly good. Will and I were... I'm sorry, I'm being so ungracious." She pulled my arm quite forcefully actually to the table where she and Will were conversing, causing me to stumble over my foot just a little. When she finally stopped dragging me, I stood up straight to balance myself out. "Sonny, this is my other cousin Will Horton."

When Will turned around to face me, he smiled a smile that made me stretch out mine. He showed his beautiful teeth and dimples and I was instantly reminded of yesterday and how much of a jerk I was. "Yeah, we've meet before, actually, but it's always nice to be formerly introduced. Hi, I'm Will Horton!" He extended his hand to me to which I shook and grinned, nodding my head casually. "Hi, I'm Sonny Kiriakis."

"Hold the phone, you guys have met before?" Abigail was quite surprised, I could tell in her tone. "How? When?" Will and I stared at each other for a few seconds, both with our mouths open. I guess we both wanted to tell Abigail, but didn't know who should speak first. So I did. "Will and I met at Marlena's office. I had an appointment and he was there. Then we saw each other again yesterday at the Horton Town Square."

"Yeah, some asshole was bothering him so I stepped in," Will added somewhat seriously. It really bothered him, I could see it in his eyes, his sweet, innocent blue eyes.

"What? Who was bothering you?" Abby asked, even more confused than ever. "Was it that jerk, Jeremy?"

We both nodded. I dropped my head for a bit and started moving my feet around. I guess I felt ashamed about the whole situation. Why? I have absolutely no idea. I just felt like it was my fault. Guilt has been a very prominent emotion of mine recently. Kind of a bummer. "He came back and wanted to talk to me. It's weird because his definition of talking involved lots of inappropriate touching and groping of the ass." As soon as I said that, I heard a cute little chuckle in the background. It was Will, showing his innocence which I found actually endearing.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That's not funny." He quickly halted his laughter and stood perfectly still. Now I started to laugh... Wait, me? Laughing? Now that's definitely atypical for me. Anyways, for a few awkward seconds, we stood there in silence. The conversation turned serious, a change from their previous one. I, once again, broke the silence. "Listen, Abby, can I talk to Will for a sec?"

"Uhm, yeah, no problem!" She hugged me once more and whispered something sweet in my ear, three little words that just a few days ago I would've shrugged off to the side and simply "humpfh"'ed to. But now, I took it in and embraced it.

When Will and I were alone, I motioned him to sit down on the table parallel to us and he without hesitation accepted my request and even thanked me. "So what's up? A-Are you feeling any better than... well..."

"I-I-m actually okay right now." Wow, never thought I'd be saying those words. A step in the right direction, definitely. "I wanted to apologize precisely about what happened yesterday. I had absolutely no reason to go off on you for trying to help me. I've been going through a lot of shit, some shit that you would have a hard time understanding seeing as though you haven't lived through it." At this point, I was seriously getting emotional. I began to relive some moments in my head, moments that I wish no one would live. And then, I started to think about Will helping me, how sweet he was for stepping in yesterday and forgiveness overrun the sadness. "So yeah, I'm sorry for bolting. You were trying to break that barrier that has been dominating my life, a barrier that I haven't had the courage and strength to destroy and I realize that now."

Much to my surprise, he reached over across the table and hugged me, prompting me to exalt a small "oomph." I was a little taken aback, I'm not gonna lie, but much like I did with Abby I welcomed it. I wrapped my arms around him too. Was this weird? Me hugging a complete, well not complete, stranger? Is this too bizarre?

When he pulled away and sat back down on the chair, he stared at me and showed off once more his beautiful white pearly teeth. "Wha-What was that for?" I said half smiling, half staid.

"I thought you might need a hug. I saw the gloom in your eyes so I jumped in. I-Is that not okay?" he asked, a little confusion in his tone.

"Nah, it's fine. Actually, I sorta needed that. Thank you."I don't know what happened but I felt something, a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I felt comforted. I felt a connection with someone. Maybe I'm just being delusional, but looking into Will's eyes, so blue and crystal clear, I forgot every bad thing that happened to me. It's crazy, I know, but I got lost in his gaze and his smile. My worries about the appointment, my anxieties, they fled out the window. I finally let someone into my life, someone other than family who only seem to want to ask how I am or am I eating or sleeping.

We looked at each other for quite a while. He stared at me with such a look that I couldn't help but smirk to. Maybe this was the sign. Maybe this was the sign of hope that everyone has been nagging me about. Should I be this happy? Was I acting delusional? Was I just attempting to see the sign that I saw it in the first person that let me in? Too many questions without answers.

"Uhm listen, I have to get back to work so..." Will ruptured the silence and stood up fiercely. I copied his movements and arose from my seat as well. "Uhm Sonny, I hope you feel better soon. You don't deserve any of this, okay? Don't blame yourself for anything, trust me. I've spent my life blaming myself for others' mistakes. It's not a fun ride, so please be kind to yourself cause I see a lot of guilt inside you," Will explained. He placed a hand on my shoulder to further the depth in his speech and I certainly accepted every single word he said. They honestly hit so close to home that I started to get emotional again. For Christ's sake, I was a hot mess. And this wasn't even the session with his Grandmother. This is just two friends talking and one showing care for the other. Needless to say, I was about to lose it. There were too many emotions of happiness mixed and misery and security. Honestly, I was so glad that I had an appointment in half an hour. I needed to talk to someone about all this, but most importantly, it was essential for me to let it all go, let everything flow out of me like the Nile River.

"Well that was my PSA for the day, join me tomorrow for my next one. Topic? Alcoholism!" he exclaimed, jokingly tipping his invisible hat to me. I laughed so hard inside that if I had cackled out loud, the whole town would've heard me. I seriously needed and yearned for that.

* * *

I left the Brady Pub feeling optimistic. This was what I wanted to do and no one could convince me otherwise. I spent way too many sleepless nights and bad, grief filled days for me to back away from an opportunity to get better and feel free again and unbound from the chains of pain and melancholy. I guess I've moved from Molly Ringwald onto George Michael with all this freedom talk.

I was steps away from Marlena's office building, soaking in everything that was about to unfold. As much I doubted myself about the upcoming experience, I felt confident in myself for the first time in what seemed to be such a long time. I will never stop repeating that I have hope because I do and I witnessed it firsthand today with Abby and mostly with Will.

I sauntered through the revolving doors and strolled through the lobby to the elevator which came rather quickly. It went slowly as always, passing by every single floor, taking its sweet time. When it finally arrived at the 20th floor and the doors flung open, I strolled over to Tiffany, the sweet, maybe receptionist. "Hi! My name is Sonny Kiriakis and I have an appointment with Dr. Marlena at 10am?"

"Well, hi, Mr. Kiriakis! Yes, we have you right here. The appointment is in just a few minutes, please have a seat in the waiting room and she'll be with you in a few," kindly informed Tiffany. I gave her quick thanks and sat down. Now the nerves were commencing to settle in more and more. Suddenly, the door flew open and Marlena was present in the door frame. "Sonny, come on in!"

Now the apprehension was DEFINITELY settled in.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'd like to thank each and everone of you for the continued support and the reviews and everything. I love you guys so much and I hope I am writing this fic justice, especially for Roxy who gave me this wonderful idea. I hope I'm making her proud :) Anways, keep the reviews coming and I promise it gets a lot happier! xoxox**

I casually yet incredibly nervously walked through the door of Marlena's office. I gently greeted and smiled at her as she did the exact same thing to me. I know it was not the proper way to greet a doctor but it was not like I was ignoring her completely, right? Anyways, I stepped to the patient's couch and sat down. Holy cow that couch was comfortable. I completely lost myself in the plush, the sink-yourself-in quality of it. It was weird cause the couch made me feel at home.

I watched as Dr. Evans grabbed her notepad and took a seat in the chair that stood parallel to the sofa. She had done the same thing, that same routine during my first appointment and she still kept a huge smile on her face. I was surprised because when I hear therapist or shrink (I know most therapists hate that word, but they are called that), I think depression and anger and sadness, basically the holy trinity of misery. And the fact that Dr. Evans always kept that smile reassured me, reassured me that I was doing the right thing in entrusting her with my past experience and openly expressing myself to her. This was definitely not going to be easy for me, but it was a must. After talking to Will and Abby and after a lot of self examination, I've realized that talking is literally the best way to solve an issue. I know, I know, late right? But hey, better late than never.

"I'm glad to see you're back. You certainly look more confident in your decision to talk to me," she started, staring at me with such intent.

"Yeah, I, uh, have spoken to a few people and thought about it myself a lot too and I came to the conclusion that I need your guidance. An-And before we start, I'd like to apologize to you personally for the other day. I-I honestly thought I was ready to talk which obviously I wasn't and now you must think I'm like this crazy psycho." Apologizing was the first thing I wanted to let out on the table. I acted like an idiot storming off and in all honesty, I would've blamed her if she didn't want to treat me anymore.

"Sonny, honey, you are not a crazy psycho. Believe me, I've seen crazy psychos first hand and you, my darling young boy, are not one of them. You simply needed some time to adjust to coming clean. I know it's hard for you and everyone has their own process. Some patients of mine take months or even, in extreme cases, years to finally admit to themselves that to talk to someone is actually a step in the healing procedure. You only took a month. That shows courage and strength and I am proud of your progress already." God does she have a way with words. Just like that I got misty eyed. My eyes got instantly watery and my smile grew bigger, spreading from ear to ear. I knew what I was doing and I knew to whom I was talking to. I could trust her with everything. "So, where do you wanna start? Take as much time as you need. I have freed my schedule for you today."

"Really? You really didn't have to..." I babbled, wiping away the incoming tears.

"Oh yes I did. And because this is your first official meeting, I'm not gonna charge you." She was really going all out for me, huh? I guess she really understood what happened to me and knew I needed her undivided attention, selflessly enough of her. But she was right, I needed her to be focused on me for the next couple hours, minimum. "Dr. Evans, you shouldn't..." were the only words I could offer up. She had already done so much in so little time that I did not know where to start to thank her.

"I'm not taking no for an answer. So!" She emphasized loudly on the 'so', kind of like a signal for me to begin my story. "The floor is yours Sonny. Commence whenever you feel ready."

I took a few moments to sink all of this in. The moment that I've been dreading for the past weeks was now gonna become a reality and I am still incredibly frightened and anxious, but strangely enough, relieved. Finally this weight on my shoulders would be lifted, finally I could sort of move from it all. I am ready to this.

I stand up for a second or two to loosen my arms and legs, kind of like I was preparing for an oral presentation or a football game. Basically, I was physically preparing myself. Then I sat back down. I closed my eyes for an additional few seconds and breathed deep breaths, trying to find a proper starting point. I opened my eyes slowly and nodded my head in Marlena's direction, who now had her pad open and a pen in hand ready to begin taking her notes, which I presume are for my file.

I sighed loudly and then just let the words flow out of my mouth like a river flowing through the woods. "Last month, actually a little over a month ago, my dad and I were at the golfing range, shooting some golf balls, you know, like father and son do." Just at the mention of the word 'dad,' I instantly lose it. The tears quickly recommenced and they now streamed down my face rather swiftly and onto my clothes. It was really hard for me to remember that night. Everything, every light, every sound, every movement came rushing back to my mind and all at once like a fucking ball to the head. I dropped my head with the weight of my sobs holding me down. Suddenly, I felt a box graze my head. It was a Kleenex box filled with tissues, held by Dr. Evans who was sitting there patiently, a look of utter sincerity in her face. "It's okay, Sonny. Take your time," she repeated. I grabbed a few tissues and wiped away some of the tears, in hopes that they had ceased for a few moments. Sadly, I was wrong. The tears came flowing down still, like a never waterfall. But amidst the tears, I knew deep down that I needed to continue. I needed to.

"Sorry... Anyways, we were at the golfing range near Wicker Road and we were having a blast, my dad and I. We could not stop laughing cause I just absolutely sucked at it. My dad was a pro, he was shooting 100, 150 yard long shots. Me? 50, maybe 75. And they all slid across the green. They never flew high." I laughed somewhat exteriorly just thinking back to that time. I guess it was funny all around since even the therapist chuckled. "So when we were finished our bucket of golf balls we decided to head to the bar accompanying the country club. My dad had a few beers and since I was the designated driver, I had some soda which was fine by me. I loved seeing my dad tipsy. It-It's the funniest thing." Once again, I etched a smile on my face, remembering all the times I saw my dad drunk. He was the loud type, screamed out everything that popped into his head. Needless to say, Drunk Justin was a show and a half.

"When the night drew to a close, and my dad was still a little tipsy, we decided it'd be best to head home. My mom was getting worried, I could tell. I have this like sixth sense that tells me when my mom is worried or is pulling a fit. So we get in the car, I'm in the driver's seat and he's in the passenger. My dad turned on the radio, I was shocked he knew how actually, and immediately started singing, well shouting, lyrics to that one Bon Jovi song, Livin' on a Prayer. We were cruising down the highway, not a car in sight oddly enough and my dad was going crazy. He-He was sticking his head out the window like a damn dog, still singing along to some classic tunes. So, uh, after a while he was starting to get routy. I had my Bluetooth in one hand and the other was on the steering wheel. I had felt my phone ring in my pocket, knowing it was my mom, so I reached for my Bluetooth that I usually leave on the dashboard. Yeah, I know, my car's a big ol' mess. And so, my dad, being the drunken klutz he is, accidentally punched my Bluetooth to the car floor just as I was about to put it in my ear. And being the IDIOT," I screamed out idiot because this is where everything became my fault, this is where it all began, where I started to blame myself entirely, "I am, I attempted to reach down to pick it up, trying my hardest to keep my eyes on the road but steered down for a slipt second, and when I looked back up, tha-that's when..."

And I stopped. My mouth stood there open with no words coming out. I stared blankly into space, thinking back specifically at the details of that night. My eyes started to water again and my hands began to shake profusely as I approached them to my mouth. After carefully remembering everything, I realized that it truly was my fault. "Oh my god... I-I-I-I did it... I'm the one who..." I was heartbroken, shattered, beaten, emotive, heavy strain in my voice.

"What did you do?" she spoke, visibly emotional as well. I felt her get up and sit next to me. She then wrapped her arms around me and slowly rocked me back and forth, my tears now falling onto her clothes and onto the floor. Without hesitation, I sprung up from her grasp and paced all over the office, muttering things under my breathe, clutching my hair in absolute disbelief, disgust and anger at myself. "I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it..." I repeated incessantly.

"Did what, sweetie?" she questioned once more.

"I KILLED HIM! I KILLED MY DAD!" I screeched, falling to the floor knees first, burying myself into my cries and my tears. "I killed him..."


	5. Chapter 5

"Look at me."

I just sat there, my back up against the wall, my legs curled up into my chest. It had been approximately 30 minutes that I had stopped sobbing uncontrollably and about 15 that Marlena had been trying to make me look at her and speak to her. To be completely honest, I was not in the proper state of mind to fess up or talk anymore than I have. It was time that I own to killing my dad, and now I did not want to utter a single word, let out any sound. I just wanted to sit there and wallow, drown myself in the sadness and in the countless tears that covered my cheeks and dowsed my eyes. It was now evident for me that I had caused my father to die, I'm the one who was driving the car, and I'm the one who bent down to pick up my Bluetooth piece. If I hadn't, my dad would still be here with me and I wouldn't be in this awful place, filled with grief and sorrow.

"Look at me." She kept on repeating those three words as if she was expecting a different response other than silence each time. "Sonny, please, look at me."

I ignored her orders and pleas just like the other times before. I stared blankly into space, just gazing past Dr. Marlena's point of view. I could tell she was watching me and all I could think to myself was how patient she has been with me. I've been in this foetal position for nearly half an hour and she had continued to remain calm and seated on her chair. At one moment, I looked at her for a split second and saw a sparkle in her eyes, a sparkle that could only be described as compassion. And if there was one thing I was in dire need of it was compassion. I needed for people to understand where I was coming from and not simply tell me that that they were sorry for my loss. How can they possibly be sorry? I was tired of people telling me their sorry for something that has had no impact on their lives. Yeah, maybe they're trying to be "compassionate" but I don't see it as compassion. I see it as pity and I never required pity. Dr. Marlena, and Will for that matter (I guess it runs in the family) have shown me just the smallest amount of sympathy and consideration more so than anyone else that has approached me. Now, all that was about to stop. All that shame and grief would be thrown out the window because I seriously need to get my life back. These past 45 minutes have shown me that.

"Look at me, Sonny. Please?" At her multiple requests, more like her I've-lost-count requests, I finally decide to lift up my eyes, heavy and puffy as they may be, to be in Dr. Evans' full line of sight, giving my undisturbed attention. She cracked a miniscule smile that revealed a tiny dimple on her right cheek to which I felt my heart warm up slightly. I could use a smile right now and she provided one. "Can I tell you something?" I gently nodded, slowly releasing my legs that were held captive to my chest by my arms. "Don't interrupt me okay?" she spoke calmly. I repeated the same nod from her previous question and awaited her comments, patiently, trying not to return to my previous state of melancholy and heartache. She suddenly stood up from her chair and kneeled down in front of me. I guess she wanted to further the importance of her upcoming comments. As I take a closer glance at her blue eyes, I became aware of the fact that her eyes were watery and loaded with hanging tears that have not dropped down her cheeks yet. At that moment, I realized just how careful she was, how incredibly serene and enduring Marlena has been with me. I know, I know, it's her job to be, but it was different and unquestionably encouraging to actually witness it in person.

"You did not kill your father. You know what was? The stupid, careless, imprudent and disgusting driver of the truck that was on the wrong side of the highway. He crashed into you, not the other way around. You were driving on the right side of the road, he wasn't. You have to realize that it was not your fault. You and your dad were having what seemed to be an amazing night, right? This bastard of a driver ruined that, not you. From now on, I want you to stop blaming yourself for the accident because it was not your fault. You know, it was hard for me to watch you because I could honestly sense and feel the pain within your voice and see it in your eyes and it broke my heart. You're a strong, young, incredibly brave, whole hearted man who felt guilty for something that had nothing to do with you. I am so proud of you, Sonny, because you went to therapy, you faced your problem head on and you are one step closer to going back to the old you. I have full faith that you will overcome this and move on. I know that it may sound like an impossible task but like I said, I have faith in you. And I'll be here for you every step to guide you through this. To access your happiness, you need to push through the pain and that's exactly what you have done. Again, I'm so humbly proud of you."

I was utterly speechless. I had no idea that what I was feeling was not what I was supposed to be feeling, weirdly enough. I seriously thought in my deepest of mind that it was all my fault and that I was the cause of my dad's death. But now, now I think I was broken through which is, what I gather from movies and television, to be a huge step towards healing. This new found breakthrough truly felt incredible and I could only thank Dr. Evans for that. "I-I-I... really?! You sincerely think so..."

"With utmost truth."

"I, uh... Don't know what to say," was the only thing I could possibly in a situation where I literally did not know what to say. She made me feel special, loved, cared for.

She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed it slightly. "You don't have to say anything. All you need to do is promise me one thing, okay, Sonny?" she instructed. All I could do was follow that order. I bobbed my forehead signaling a quaint yes. "I want you to throw every single inch of self doubt out the window, every fiber of your being telling you that it was your fault. Please, it'll only help you in the long run. Also, be grateful that you came out of this accident practically untouched. Thank God for that, okay?"

"I promise," I acquiesced rather quicker than I thought I would. I never thought I'd come to this point especially after everything that has been handed to me.

"That was quick."

I sniffled back a few remaining tears and answered, "Well, I deem myself ready to move on. I think I'm at that point in this situation where I've been harming myself, not in a physical way but in a much more emotional and psychological manner. An-And," I laughed inwardly, discharging a small snort, "I know that my dad would be on my ass if he was here. He'd tell me that I'm crazy for feeling like I am and that I need to stop blaming myself for other's consequences. Then he'd probably make some joke to lighten the mood." We both chuckled at my last sentence. That was just how my dad was, he was the life of a party, always cracking jokes and making everyone, especially me and my mom, laugh and giggle.

"That does sound like him. Sonny, I knew your dad. He was an amazing, passionate man, much like yourself. He would be extremely proud of you just as I am right now. And he'd tell you to keep on doing you and to do it for him." I suddenly felt some tears resurfacing to my bloated, blood shot eyes, but the tears didn't fall. I was finally done with crying, done with all the misery I had brought onto myself. It was frankly the start of the new Sonny. "Can I ask one more thing of you?"

"Of course. I owe you so much, Dr. Evans. You seriously changed me. For the better. You and Will actually..." We both stood up from the floor, feeling that the sadness and pain were finally over with and not to be revisited.

At the mention of Will, her face lit up and confusion was painted in her gaze. "Will? My grandson?"

"Yeah, he's been awesome and kind with me, even at times where I was awful to him. He actually kinda convinced me in his own weird, subtle way to go therapy for the second time. So I owe him so much gratitude." I smiled at the reference of Will. He had an effect, a petite one but still, on me and I will have to repay him soon one way or another. "Anyways, what is it you want to ask of me?"

"Yes, now this may sound a little bizarre or unorthodox, but I have tried this with other grieving patients and it works about 95% of the time. I want you to go home and write a letter to your father."

My expression rapidly took on the same one Marlena had earlier. I was exceedingly puzzled at her proposition. "Excuse me?" were the only two words I could think of that made sense of my confusion.

"I know it's strange, but it works. It's basically just a letter with everything you wish you could tell your dad if he was standing in front of you right now, recounting all of your memories and your times together. It's gonna rid your mind of any suspending anguish and release you from the agony and distress of losing a parent. I can assure you that it's going to be particularly straining and tough, but I have tried it on many patients and they have told me first hand that they felt a weight being lifted off their shoulders. With that letter, you are going to safeguard it. Keep it somewhere hidden and if ever ou feel saddened about your dad again, read over that letter and remind yourself that he is still with you and that his memory lives on in yours, okay?"

Instead of responding with words, I reacted the only way I felt suitable. I etched a tiny smile on my face and pulled my therapist into a nice, tight embrace. I buried myself into her shoulder and closed my eyes in a mixture of repressing sorrow and new found relief. "Thank you so much. For everything. You've changed my life."

"No problem, honey. And if ever you need to talk again, come visit me anytime. I'll welcome you with open arms," she spoke through the hug. When she freed herself from the squeeze, she looked at me straight in the eyes with maximum intent. "May I suggest something? Have someone be with you when you write the letter, someone you trust and know could bring your spirits up," she recommended with a wink. I immediately thought up of someone and I was pretty sure she knew exactly who that person was.

As we hugged one last time and said our final goodbyes, I walked out the office door and quickly pulled out my cellphone, accessing my contacts with the most speed. I scrolled down to the number I was searching for and found it. 438-887-7650. That was his number. So without further ado, I clicked on it and it dialed almost immediately (my phone was getting increasingly slower).

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring...

"Hello?" said the familiar voice.

"Will?"

* * *

**A/N I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed and favorited this story. it means the world to me that you guys love it just as much as I do. I promise it'll get happier and WilSon will play a predominant role in the upcoming chapters. So please, keep on reviewing, I love hearing your thoughts and even your suggestions! Thank you again, and I love y'all xoxox - Anthony**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hey guys! Thank you so much again for the kind words and the follows/favorites! Keep em coming :)**

"What's up? After you called I came rushing over!" Will told me as I opened the door. Per Marlena's request, I had to write a letter to my dad, like a final letter stating everything I'd had wished to tell him before he died. Basically, I needed to set myself free from the guilt and the heartache that had been eating at me for the past month and a half. She claims it's gonna help me heal and I fully trust her. Because of her, I have the shot at being normal again without all the depression and strain. Dr. Evans also suggested that I be in the company of a friend, someone I can equally trust and someone whom I feel close to. And obviously, I chose the one person that actually made me see the hope and the light, the one that surprised me with their compassion and their hopeful attitude: Will Horton.

"Yeah, come on in." I waved him in my apartment and greeted him with a sweet, serene smile. I had been fresh off my appointment with Dr. Evans, maybe just a few hours ago. "How did you find out where I lived?"

"I asked Abigail. She was with me when I got your call." Ah, Abigail, always helping out her family and friends. "More importantly, how did you get my number?" he inquired. I needed to come up with a lie or something to cover up the real way I got his number: after I first met Will, I actually searched his name on Facebook and luckily his number was under his information. I didn't want him to think I was some creepy stalker guy who hunts after numbers, so telling a measly white lie wouldn't hurt, right?

"I, uh..." I placed my hand behind my head and gently scratched my scalp. I was still thinking about a proper excuse and I could tell he was getting antsy; he leaned forward slightly with his arms crossed, a small smile etched on his lips, I knew he was somewhat fooling around. "Me too, I uh, asked Abigail..." was the first thing that came to mind. Smart Sonny, now he can just go confront Abby about it. I felt a little embarrassed, not gonna lie and my cheeks were blushing by the second and the only remedy was to change the subject. And fast.

I offered him a drink and a snack, but he ever so kindly refused, said that he had already eaten beforehand. After this quick exchange and we took a seat on the couch, I decided it'd be best to get down to brass tax and get it over with. "Okay, so the reason I asked you to come by my place was for... a... favor..." I paused after those last three words, anticipating either a negative or positive response from his reaction to the request of a favor from a rather stranger. His response surprised me, in a great way. "Of course, anything!" he responded with such an enthusiastic tone.

"Really? You'll do me a favor? But you barely know me..."

The expression in his eyes told me everything I needed to know about who he was and what kind of personality he had. When I said that last sentence, his eyes filled with a look that spoke "so?" as if he didn't mind performing a favor someone whom he barely knew. He was full of heart and compassion, two qualities that I've been yearning to find in people other than my family members. And I saw that in Will in that very moment, prompting to smile unconditionally but I still reserved some fear within me, fear that I was getting too close for comfort. "So?" he spoke just the word I had thought he would say from his expression.

"So? You honestly don't mind?"

"Well I mean, it depends what this favor is... I'm not into anything freaky," he chuckled. This made me die of laughter. He had a sense of humour too. _Gosh was there anything not perfect about him?_ Fuck... did I just think that? What is going on...

"It's not freaky, trust me." We both exchanged another set of giggles. "It's actually kinda depressing if you think about it."

His look still remained unphased. "Once again... so?" he repeated. "Listen, Sonny, I know you're going through a tough time and I know that you need a friend who can help you though this and I intend on being that friend, even if we aren't the closest of acquaintances," he explained further, looking intently into my eyes. I loved that he used "intend," made me feel cared for and comfortable.

"Thank you, again, I owe you big time," I pleaded, smiling at the sight of his intense blue eyes. "Okay so back to my favor. Uhmmm, your grandmother, who is my therapist as you already know, instructed me that I needed to write a letter to my dad, a letter expressing everything that I wish I could tell him if he was standing in front of me right now and she requested I-" I was swiftly interrupted by Wills voice and what he said shocked me.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"I'll help you write the letter."

I was astounded. He was so sure of himself, not single note of hesitation in his voice, not a single stutter and I took extreme assurance in that. I simply could not believe just how understanding and forth coming he was. I, once again, smirked to myself, pretty sure he noticed but didn't say anything as my smiles tend to spread out from ear to ear. "You will?"

"Yes I will and by the smile on your face, I can tell you're happy about my response." Oh shit, he noticed my smile. Act calm, Sonny, act calm. "I am calm..."

"What?"

What? Did I seriously just respond to my own thought out loud? Really? Oye this was not going too well. I was seriously so embarrassed with myself, my head fallen in shame as I stared at the ground.

"What?"

"You said, 'I am calm...'."

"Oh... I guess I misspoke. Sorry," I lied, like a bumbling idiot.

"It's okay."

Well, now everything was awkward. I could tell he was absolutely confused and frankly weirded out by my remark. After a few more discomfited seconds of blank staring and utter silence, he finally spoke. I certainly was too humiliated to start up the conversation again, my cheeks turning yet another shade of light red. "Okay, so are we gonna start this letter or what?"

"Uhm, yeah sure. Thanks again, Will. I appreciate it a lot." I gently tapped his shoulder as a friend would, but he took it one step forward and pulled me in for a hug, a hug that made me weak in the knees inwardly. I returned the embrace and wrapped my arms around his waist as his arms were around my neck. His touch felt great to me, made me feel like forgetting about the letter and forgetting about the loss of my dad, which I desperately needed.

* * *

We spent approximately two hours on this letter and I must say it was pretty emotional for the both of us which was expected given the circumstances. I talked and talked and recounted everything I knew about my dad, his likes, his dislikes, our moments together both happy and angry, everything.

It reached its most touching peak when I started writing about how much I loved my dad and much I valued his accepting nature of my sexuality and my previous relationships, two subjects my mom had difficulty comprehending and which my dad always seemed to grasp fully and accept about me. I guess that tugged at Will's heart because he could relate to the struggle of coming out and non acceptance. When the subject came up, I noticed that his eyes became watery and almost dripped tears.

I heard quite a few sniffles coming from Will's nose and it intensified the writing of this letter all the much more. I hated to hear Will cry or even just see him teary eyed, it broke my heart further. I would never wish my pain onto someone else and at this moment, it sort of felt like I was passing it onto Will, an innocent bystander in the depressing nature that is my life and I felt worse than already did.

When the letter came to a close, I had already lost it. Tears covered the paper and it was almost drenched although I had wiped some of them off. I felt tears continuously streaming down my cheeks, some landing in mouth, giving my buds a salty taste, others falling on my clothes and on the desk and paper. That's when IT happened. Again.

I sensed a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around my neck and squeezed ever so gently. I smelled David Beckham's Nautica, one of my favourite colognes as it so happens, all over Will's neck, a smell I could never get tired of, especially on someone as handsome as Will Horton. He whispered a sweet, everlasting "it'll be okay" and a cute "you did great." I took these sympathetic and benevolent few words to heart and my crying immediately ceased. I was extremely comforted by his embrace and I placed my hand on his arms and patted them softly.

He emanated this energy, this pleasing, calming energy that radiate through his hugs and his words and I couldn't help but feel secure. Everything in this letter, everything I had been going through recently seemed like it had vanished in that last embrace, which I believe was the reason Dr. Evans wanted me to be accompanied by someone. It was so that I could feel less alone and suffer less psychologically and emotively. This arrangement was definitely well worth it because during the time I spent writing the letter, I liberated every single ounce of anguish and painful tear left in me, putting it all out there to free myself from the chains of my then grief stricken life.

When he released himself from the hug and swirled my chair around to face me, he kneeled down in front of me and gazed deeply into my saddened stare, Will painted a smiled on his face, trying to make me feel better. Greatly successful, might I add. A weight was lifted off my shoulders, not as much as the burden that was winched off earlier with Marlena, but still pretty heavy and I was so incredibly glad that Will was there to witness this with me, a friend.

"Hey!" he leaped up from the floor and practically jumped in his spring, somewhat happily, strangely enough amidst the situation. "Let's go out!"

"Excuse me?" I questioned, wiping away some resistant tears. "Go out?"

"Yeah, let's go out. You know, explore the outside world? Breathe some fresh air? God knows we need it." I was astonished by the invitation. I didn't expect him to want to go out this early prior to the events that had transpired. I was expecting more of a "I need to go home and rest a little" type response. I guess he's just full of surprises, isn't he?

"You sure? I'm a little shaken up."

"Of course, I'm sure! That's exactly WHY," he emphasized specifically on that word, "we should go out. It'll get your mind off of the grief and misery. You need to live it up a little more, you know? Come on!" He extended his hand to me, a sign of hurry and anticipation.

I hesitated, I'm not gonna lie, but I also really wanted to escape the torment and maybe with someone like Will by my side, I'd break away easier. "You're right, I should get back out there, you know? Explore the outside world as you put it," I chuckled. I grabbed his hand that was given to me and stood up from my seat. "It's now 3:45pm so what do you wanna do?"

He pondered for a few seconds and then responded. "I think we should go to the park and then go out for supper. What do you say?"

"I like it! Let me get my jacket, I'll meet you at your car!" My face lit up and I quickly went to get my jacket in the closet. "By the way which car do you have?"

"It's a 2010 red Prius. Can't miss it. I'll see you downstairs, okay?" I nodded simply. "Oh and you did great today, seriously. I'm proud of you."

And just like that he exited my apartment. My smile increased enormously and this time, I was surely not trying to hold it in.

Some may say that I'd be getting too close to Will too soon. Was I? Was I getting too close for comfort? Honestly, I have no idea, but I was definitely getting closer and it felt wonderfully comfortable.


	7. Chapter 7

Will and I had been out of my apartment aka the place of misery and despair for about 2-3 hours and it was close to hitting 6 o'clock which is usually when my stomach starts to grumble, and loudly too, especially after both an emotionally and physically draining day. The emotional part or parts I should say of the day were obviously my meeting with Dr. Evans this morning which went extremely well and then the whole letter writing debacle with Will, which I'm pretty sure drained him just as much. As for the physical stuff, let's just say Will really wanted to get his and my mind out of the depressive state they were in the past few hours.

On Will's agenda for the day, an agenda I was starting to think he had planned days in advance seeing as how incredibly mapped out it was, were quite a few activities, some I was iffy about, others I was all for. For example, the Horton felt the strong urge to go the park and run a few miles. Now, I always used to run. Every single morning I'd wake up bright and early and run approximately an hour, get my blood going. Then I was automatically ready and amped for the day's challenges and hiccups. I believe that's where I got my energy. That all changed the night my dad passed. Ever since then I stopped running in the mornings. I tried once but failed miserably as all I could imagine were flashy lights and sounds of ambulance sirens. Those images haunted my every day and every night for weeks and going out for a quick run around the park wouldn't clear my head of such distained nightmares. During that period of laziness, one could call it, I had gained a few pounds, pounds I took great pride in losing and that I was determined to shed, starting with the run Will suggested. It was like he knew I desperately wanted to start to run again. It was like he knew I ran which was weird because I used to go alone and early in the morning where people were practically inexistent and still sleeping. Or maybe it was his clever way of telling me I needed to lose some weight. Although I don't think he was referring to the latter, I do however believe that he saw a runner's drive and passion in me, from one runner to another. All in all, the run was incredible and I felt free, like nothing could bring me down, but most of all, I loved being accompanied by someone, especially Will, a friend.

After the run and after a few minutes of catching breath, Will suggested we go mini putting, seeing as it was a glorious day (his words, not mine) and that no one can ever get tired of a good round of putting. This was one of those activities I was on the fence about. I was never really a pro at mini putt, always hit the ball too hard and constantly went over par by a huge amount. But the hardest part of the whole situation was that the night my dad and I were in that car crash, we were coming back from the golfing range. When I explained my uncertainty and vacillation to Will, he, being the amazingly generous and kind-hearted guy he was, quickly retracted the proposal, insisting we do something utterly different of that to save my emotions the returning pain (once again, his words). I, with a little hesitation as expected, accepted the offer. I needed to conquer my fear of golf courses, especially that this wasn't even a real course. I was a measly kid's mini putt course. The whole time we were playing, I could sense worry in Will's gaze. He constantly asked me if I was okay and that he wouldn't mind if we left. It was extremely sweet and unselfish, two qualities I just loved Will for. _Wait a second, did I just say "love" and "Will" in the same sentence? Well that's new..._

When the game drew to a close, which surprisingly I won and which I'm starting to think Will threw just to please me, we went for a small walk around the Horton Town Square that was conveniently near the course. Man what a talker that guy was! He went on and on about all sorts of topics, such as sports, movies, music, TV and politics. But there was one topic I was patiently waiting for him to address which he completely side passed and brushed away: him. I wanted to know more about him, about his likes, his dislikes, his coming out story, his family, his friends, everything. It's not that I don't mind the TV talk, I do, I love TV just as much as the next guy, but I felt like I had burdened Will with all of my shit that I thought to myself it'd be good for me to sit back and listen to someone else. And it was on my agenda to get Will talking about Will and this would only be possible at dinner.

* * *

"You are so wrong it's not even fathomable."

"No sir, you are the one who is in the wrong, okay?" I argued.

"Excuse me? No. It seems you haven't been paying attention to anything I have said in the past 15 minutes," he countered.

"No, no. I heard. That's precisely why I'm saying that you are just so incredibly mistaken and your argument is full of errors."

"Oh Sonny, I'm gonna have to repeat myself I guess..." He breathed in a large dose of air and exhaled it with quite amplitude. "Ross and Rachel were not broken up. He should have NEVER," he emphasized loudly, "slept with that girl, okay? He basically cheated."

"They were on a break! Rachel said 'a break' which could've easily meant a break up since the word 'break' is in 'break up'. Ross was just as confused as the rest of America. He was hurt and was vulnerable. I actually feel sorry that you can't see the light in the situation..." I joked. This argument had been going on for 15 minutes now and we still hadn't settled on a consensus. It turned out we were both Friends fanatics so one thing led to another and we started arguing over the whole Ross and Rachel fiasco which was an argument I was never tired of winning, to be honest.

"See? I just totally blocked you!" I retorted seeing Will gasping for a final word. Finally, he huffed and pouted for a few seconds, finally admitting to himself he had lost the argument.

"Well... your face," he answered with his arms crossed, looking a few degrees past me, a sign of his anger and frustration. It quickly dissipated when he heard me chuckling in the background, smiling a smile I hadn't in the longest time and all because of the man sitting in front of me.

"So... tell me a little bit more about yourself. I mean, I know all about your sports teams and your favorite movies and shows and music, but I wanna know about the whole package. Who is Will Horton?" I asked changing to the subject I've been so eager to discuss and get out of him.

"We'll be here all night, way after they serve dessert that's for sure," he wondered, gesturing around the quaint Italian restaurant just outside of the Horton Town Square we were sitting in. "I don't know if you wanna know who Will Horton is. You might get bored."

"Are you kidding? It'll do me some good to sit back and listen to someone else talk. I'm talked out for the day. Now it's your turn. Hell, you've been talking nonstop for the past hour, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Haha so very funny, Mr. Comedian," he uttered, half jokingly half serious. He stared at me for a few moments, searching for that single itch of doubt in my eyes but he'd be looking for a long time seeing as though I was set on hearing Will's story. He got comfortable in his seat, fiddled around with his napkin and utensils and deepened his fix on me, his stunning blue eyes on display.

"Well, I'm a 20 year old college student at Salem U. I have quite the estranged family although you should know what that's like with a last name like Kiriakis. My mom and dad have been through the most complicated relationship, ups, downs, sideways, you name it, they've been through it. Now they're not together and honestly that's what is best for everyone. When I was a kid, I was constantly basically thrown back and forth between them and it messed with me a little because I never had that family that everyone else had you know?" I started seeing his eyes get watery. His childhood was nothing short of tumultuous and troubling and I have so much respect for him. It was getting increasingly hard for me to notice Will getting sad, especially because he was my only friend right now and I was in no position to lose him.

"Nowadays, everything is great between them. They don't fight, primarily because I am no longer a little kid who needs to won over. My mom is dating EJ DiMera and my dad is single, he goes on a few dates here and there but no one serious. I respect my mom's decision to date EJ. He has been like a second father to me, especially during my whole coming out, being all supportive and everything." His eyes turned even more gloomy at the mention of coming out which was probably another horrid chapter in his life. "Wanna talk about it?" I inquired casually, still paying very close attention to Will.

"What's to say? Uh, I've been out for like year now and it wasn't easy. It took a long time for me to come to terms with who I was. I talked to my grandma Marlena a lot or should I say, cried a lot with my grandma Marlena. She guided me through it all and I honestly have no idea where I'd be without her. The hardest part of it all though? I didn't have a friend to confide in. I didn't have someone in my life whom I could call at 1am or go out for a bite with and discuss what to do next. I needed a support system, someone to tell me that everything was gonna be okay and that I'll be happy in time. Yeah, I had my grandma and my friends Chad and T, who wasn't really supportive at first but who came around, and my cousin Abigail, but I wanted a friend I could relate to." Wow. I honestly sensed every bit of pain Will was feeling. Although I had a few friends around me when I came out, I definitely didn't have a grandmother like Marlena, especially one who's a therapist. It truly saddened me to see Will in this condition. He was looking down a lot, as if in shame, a shame he had no business experiencing, not with that heart of gold of his.

When he looked up at me, the first time in a minute or two, he saw myself getting emotional and etched a smile on his face. "It's okay, Sonny! I'm the happiest I've ever been. Honestly. I'm proud of who I am, but I'm so much more than just gay, you know? I'm a bigger person than that, one that shouldn't be restrained by their sexuality. I want a family, kids, the whole nine yards and I know now that all of those dreams and aspirations as still in my grasp."

"Exactly. You are an amazing guy, Will and all that shit is in the past and you shouldn't be defined by it. Believe me, my parents aren't exactly saints, I know exactly what you're thinking. You're afraid that their mistakes will become your mistakes. But you know what? That is not true. You are your own person, Will. And yeah, one day you will meet the most perfect guy and you'll fall in love and have the life you've always dreamt for yourself." I wanted to reassure Will of how great he is, that no one can prevent him from being himself. When I saw a single tear stream down his face, I had the instinct to wipe it away. And at that moment, it seemed the world had stopped, like everything around was frozen. I was all tingly inside. I felt like the Grinch on Christmas after his heart grew three sizes. I felt warm inside.

"Thank you, Sonny. You're a great friend to me, honestly." I nodded simply and winked, prompting Will to grin slightly. "Anyways, are you-"

I was swiftly interrupted by the shout of Will's name from across the restaurant. "Will!" said the unknown voice from behind me.

"Elijah?" Will stood up from his seat, a look of surprise and confusion on his face, but also happiness. "What are you doing here?"

"I was walking around and saw your car parked outside the restaurant and thought 'why not go say hi to my boyfriend?' So here I am!" My expression suddenly turned crushed, like my heart had shrunk instead of grown.

"Aww you're so sweet, come here," Will spoke, pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss, a kiss that made me feel so incredibly crushed. _What if I wanted to ask Will out? Now that was never going to happen..._

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the angst so early on hehe I promise though, it'll all work out in the next few chapters so stay tuned and keep on reviewing :) Thank you! xox**


	8. Chapter 8

**June 12****th****, 2013**

_I don't usually write two journals in one day but so much as happened today and tonight that I needed to put down on paper, let all the frustration and relief in a journal._

_Let me start off by talking about my appointment with Dr. Evans from this morning. In my honest opinion, it went incredibly well. Actually, I might even go so far as to say it went tremendously great. I mean, everything that had been going on with me, all the thoughts about guilt and depression were just basically thrown out the fictional window. During the two and a half hours I was there, most of which I spent either crying or not talking but that's beside the point, I confessed to Marlena everything. From the night of the accident to the emotions I was dealing with like blame and humiliation, two emotions that Dr. Evans claims I should not have been feeling. Everything. When I was telling her the story of the night of the accident, I just kept on thinking that once again, I had caused my own father's death. She immediately reassured me that I didn't. I don't know what happened in that specific moment, maybe I felt the comfort and trust of a psychiatrist's word or that I needed to hear it from someone who wasn't my mother or my cousin, but in that moment, something in my mind clicked. A light bulb lit up in my mind and I felt like all the self deprecation I was putting myself through was not worth it, as if all the harm I've been causing to my emotional psyche was unnecessary and unwarranted. Anyways, after she bolstered my confidence level just a bit and made me see the light, she suggested I write a letter to my dad, a letter that I never thought I'd be able to write, ever. It was difficult I'm not even gonna lie. Yes, the guilt was gone, but the sad part of my heart was still very much present, not in the way it used to be but still pretty prominent. I'm still waiting for THAT moment to pull it out and reread it. I didn't really analyze it after I wrote it. I just kinda shoved it in my drawer. Another reason for that was the fact Will was begging me to go out which actually segways into the next part of my journal. _

_Will Horton. What can I say? I think I'm falling for this guy. Weird though cause I've known him for what, a week? And I can't even say "know" because if I knew him, I'd have been informed on the fact that he has a fucking boyfriend... Ouf okay, got that off of chest. And oh my god is this guy hot! I mean he's got the face of a freaking male model and a body that I can only assume is spectacular. Oh and Elijah is nice too. Wait a sec... Did I just say that about Will Horton? I must be falling harder than I thought. If I were to discuss this with another shrink I know exactly what they'd tell me. They'd tell me that I'm clinging myself to the first guy who shows me any love and affection because I'm in desperate need of some. Well, to that I say that it's bullshit. I am not desperate in any shape, form or meaning of the word. It's just... It feels nice to be cared for, you know? And I'm not like in love with him, I just have a weird, but oh so good, tingly, butterfly-ey (that's not a word, I know), amazing feeling in my stomach when I see him smile at me or when he makes me laugh. He was there when sadness was the only thing I had left and he was practically the only one who made some of it disappear. And now, knowing that he has a boyfriend, a guy whom he seems very in love with just brings a little of that back. I know, crazy right? Falling for a guy I know nothing about and who has a boyfriend. _

_God, I wish I had my dad right now. He'd know what to do. Surprisingly enough, he was always the one to give me boyfriend advice, not that Will is boyfriend or that I want him that way... Well, I kind of do. There. I said it. I want to date Will. And you know what? I deserve it. It's been nearly two months since my dad passed and since I steered onto the Highway of Despair and took the Remorse exit down Anguish Avenue. I deserve to be happy. Am I so foolish to want to be happy and thinking that Will could be the one to provide me with such a happiness that I've honestly been yearning for weeks now? I don't think I am. _

_Right now, however, I need a friend more than anything and I think I'm gonna keep my feelings to myself for a little bit, at least until Will is no longer with Elijah and ready for another relationship. He has been incredible with me and I should honor that by staying loyal to him with friendship. _

_Well, that's all I wanted to say so I'm gonna go to bed now. Gonna get up early and start up my running routine again._

* * *

I put my journal book away in its secret place. Well it's not really secret. It's just in a box under my bed. I keep it so hidden because I'd hate for anyone to find these written journals. They are extremely personal to me and convey emotions that I couldn't even dare to express out loud to anyone who so wishes to hear them. Maybe one day, to someone very special to me, but right now, I don't see it happening.

I gently put on my sleeping attire which consists of no shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms, It was a chilly night but if it weren't I'd be in underwear. Aside from the pointless information on the clothes I wear to bed, I set my alarm to eight o'clock in the morning so that I can start my running as early as possible.

As I get settled in bed, the lights are off and everything, I hear a familiar voice that shocked me to my very core.

"Hey, son," spoke the voice.

I jolted out of bed with such agility I swear a cloud of smoke emanated from the speed. When I cleared my eyes out with multiple rubs, I could finally see more.

"D-Dad?"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello everyone! I am so sorry for being MIA for the past couple of weeks. A lot of stuff has been going on here and I haven't found the time to sit down and write a chapter that I would be proud of and that you guys would enjoy and I'm so happy to be back and write for y'all. I would also like to thank each and every one of you for the kind words on this story. It is very dear to my heart and to know that so many people love just warms my heart. And thank you for being patient with me. I hope you guys will still find this story interesting because there's a lot more to come with our boys! Love you all - Anthony xox**

"D-Dad?" I uttered more confused than ever. I rubbed my eyes several times in hopes I was just dreaming, but as I moved my fingers away from my eyes, I realized even more perplexed than earlier than he was standing there. In person. Not an hallucination.

"Hi, Sonny," he spoke softly, a small smile etched on his face, a smile that I have missed so much, that I used to go to for comfort. My dad always was my source for assurance during tough times. He always knew what to say and when.

"But... you're... you're supposed to be dead. W-We buried you and you are in the ground, you know, six feet under? Ho-How...?" I baffled. Those were the only words that I could think of to say at this confusing moment.

"I am dead. I'm just a figment of your imagination. Here to guide you," he explained simply. Although he wasn't "real" it still felt incredibly real. I could see his shadow and I could hear him breathe and everything. It was so very real and so very not all wrapped in one bewildering package. I hadn't seen him in about two months and for me to see him now, in the flesh, puzzles me all the more.

After a few seconds of silence and deliberation, I approached my dad's apparition slowly at first but as I got closer, it seemed more and more genuine to me which was weird because it was impossible for me to see him again. When I got close enough to him, like at hugging distance, I attempted to prove to myself that this wasn't just a sickening joke that God was playing on my emotions. I slowly and surely went in for a hug and what I discovered shocked me. I could actually wrap my arms around him and feel him. My level of misunderstanding increased exponentially, seeing as though this supposed figment of my imagination was in fact something that I could hold onto and feel. When I felt my dad give into the hug, I couldn't hold my tears any longer, since they were already hanging from eyes.

I didn't want to let go. I never wanted to let go. I wanted this moment to last forever. The last time I hugged my dad was what seemed like an eternity ago and I have been yearning for it for so long. Although I had been going to therapy which helped in ways that I can't even express in words, it never quite took away the feeling of sadness and loss, two emotions that I believe were normal to keep inside. I needed to savor the moment because I knew it wouldn't last forever or for much longer for that matter. I tucked my head in his shoulder and let the tears flow out of my puffy eyes.

"I miss you so much," I expressed through the sniffles sneaking in a little grin of happiness.

"I miss you too, son," he replied, with the same level of emotion that I brought.

I pulled away from the embrace, as hard as it was; I needed to get some answers. "What are you doing here, seriously? How's heaven? What's it like up there? Answer whichever you want!" I asked with so much enthusiasm, eager for answers and also, I just wanted to hear my dad speak to me. If there was one thing I missed the most, a part of so many more, it was his words of wisdom and relieve. They always helped me and almost everyone him and I believe it was one of the reasons he was so incredibly loved and a fantastic lawyer. He constantly put others ahead of himself, offered his assistance to those who needed it the most. Justin Kiriakis was an amazing man, husband, friend and father. He was the best dad in the world and missing him has been the most heart wrenching, the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through.

He laughed a little at my rambling mess. "Okay, first. The one thing you need to know about Heaven is that it's not like it's depicted in the movies where everything is white and everybody has a halo on their head. That's all I'm gonna say regarding that," he explained comically, prompting me to burst out in laughter amidst my tears, which was a great feeling. "Then, I want to tell you something. I want you to go for it."

"Excuse me?" I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. It had so many meanings that just choosing one would take me a few hours.

"You know what I mean. Go for it. Talk to him." Wait a second... was he talking about... No, that's impossible. "It's very much possible, Sonny. See, I'm dead. I watch over my family and know everything." Wow. He's actually reading my mind. "Yeah, I can read your mind." This got really weird for a second. My deceased dad was giving me advice on Will and reading my mind. That's kind of fucked up, if you think about it and process it.

"But... why... he has a boyfriend," I said gloomily, taking a seat at the edge of the bed, fiddling around lazily with my fingers.

"So? Tell him how you feel. Sonny, I know everything, remember. I know that you think of him constantly and I see the way you look at him. You need to tell him how you feel or it's just gonna damage you in the future. And you're just gonna regret it."

I looked up once more to my dad and gave him a slight smirk. "Even when you're a ghost, you give damn good advice," I complimented. "It's hard though. I've known him for like three weeks. If I tell him that I'm falling for him, he might get scared and run away and I'd hate to lose his friendship. I mean, he's been amazing with me during this whole situation, more so than anyone I've met. And I've been trying to convince myself that it's only a measly crush but I'm not persuading anybody. Whenever someone mentions him to me or I see him, I immediately smile. Is that bad? Am I in over my head?"

Sensing my murkiness, as he usually did, he joined me at the edge of the bed. "No you're not. You're just falling for someone you never thought you could fall for, especially at a time like this. But you can't stop it with the snap of your fingers as much as you would like to. I'm telling you, Sonny, talk to him, you'll feel better, trust me."

At those final words, my eyes lit up and I sprung up from the bed. "God, you always were the one I could trust the most." I turned around to face the door, just to clear my mind for a few seconds, sighing lightly. "You know? It's weird that I get my advice from-" I turned around to face my dad once more and he was gone, as if he had vanished from thin air. "Dad?" I called out, in hopes that maybe he'd come back; I still wanted to talk to him, I wanted to be with him for just a few more minutes and give me time to properly say goodbye. I guess that would never happen.

I bowed my head down and closed my eyes, completely and absolutely bummed out. I just needed a couple more moments, moments that I will probably never get back...

"I love you, Dad," I whispered into the silence that filled my apartment. Nothing else left to do but go back to sleep. A sad, dismal sleep...

* * *

I woke up feeling murky, but also feeling hopeful. With what my dad told me last night about confronting my feelings for Will, I figured it couldn't hurt to try and express myself to him. Although I may get hurt in the process, I'll regret it if I don't. Maybe I'll tell him today, later on, invite him over, sit him down and tell him. Just like ripping off a band aid, quick and painless. My fear, however? That'll be long and painful which is most definitely the worst possible combination of sentiments. For now, I'm just gonna concentrate on getting better and getting back into my running habits.

_About 45 minutes later_

Geez... that was some run. I ran all through Salem and I'm not even sugar coating the experience. I went from my apartment, continued through Horton Town Square, passed both the DiMera & my uncle Victor's mansions. I passed the Brady Pub and peaked inside to check up on everyone (Will wasn't working, to my luck) then went on to pass a coffee shop known as Common Grounds, a sort of Starbucks meets Dunkin' Donuts, which is probably going to be my favorite place to hang out. What? I love coffee and donuts...

Anyways, I found myself, towards the end of my run in the park, a place I love to go where I can relax and get in touch with my feelings and think through my problems (I'm a sap, I know) and right then, it seemed like the perfect place to go.

As I was walking around, I noticed a couple on a park bench and it seemed like they were getting pretty cosy together, if you know what I mean. I could only see the back of the head of one of the guys and immediately it clicked: it was Jeremy. I recognized him right away. The light brown short hair, the muscled back. Yeah, it was definitely Jeremy. I was going to chime in and greet them, you know, to show my support for him and his new boyfriend. It was the least I could do after the way I treated him when we were dating and what had happened a few days ago with Will, but then, he moved over his head and I caught a glimpse of the person with whom he was necking and I was utterly shocked and appalled.

"Oh my god... Elijah?" I whispered, my mouth dropped to the floor


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I've been busy with work and having the most fun before going back to school (ugh, it's that time). Anyways, here's a short chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy it! And a little spoiler? There's a BIG event happening to WilSon in the next chapter, something that will change their relationship. For good? For bad? I'm not telling hehe ;) So enjoy this one and I appreciate once again all the reviews and feedback 3**

My heart sank to the floor. It was as if someone reached down my throat and punched it. I know, I wasn't the one who was getting hurt, but someone I care for, someone who could potentially hold my heart in the future was being deceived and backstabbed. Will was the victim of a situation that I would never condone on anybody, not even my worst enemy: having your loved one cheat on you. Coming from experience, being cheated on is probably the worst feeling in the world. Long story which I'll explain some other time.

My heart ached for Will. Seeing Elijah, Will's boyfriend with whom he seemed to love, cheating on him with Jeremy, MY ex-boyfriend, a person who was and will always be, as I look upon the scenario, a douche and one of the biggest players I know and to see them making out in public was just utterly sickening. I couldn't believe my eyes.

As I hid behind the bushes, avoiding to be noticed by the duo which would be all on its own an uncomfortable situation, I still couldn't fathom what was happening. Will was one of the sweetest, most caring, most amazing people I have ever met and for him to be succumbed to such an injustice is terrible and if there was one thing he merited more than anything, it was happiness, to be told the truth. However, as the famous expression goes, it's not as easy as it sounds. I was stuck between two painfully hard choices, in two parallel worlds where the outcomes are different but equally painful. On one hand, I could tell Will about Elijah and Jeremy, but he may not even believe me and may want to terminate our ever growing friendship and possible expansion into more, maybe, I hoped. The pain in my heart would grow exponentially not having Will in my life anymore. I have valued Will and everything he has done for me in the past weeks. He has literally been my guardian angel and I owe him my life. Ending all that, ending our relationship would be nothing short of heart wrenching and I couldn't bear the thought of losing the possible love of my life, my possible soul mate, my true and only best friend.

But, in the other world, I could keep this information to myself and prevent such hurt towards Will. I mean, the last thing I would want to instill in him is sadness and if Elijah is the one to make him happy, then so be it. Maybe not knowing would be better than knowing the truth...

A few moments elapsed and I heard voices at which point I realized the bastards had stopped necking and were deep in conversation. Luckily, I was within ear shot...

"I am so glad we got to do this. Geez, it's the most action I've had in weeks. Will won't do anything with me. I mean, for fuck's sake, we have never even slept together even if we've been going out for a couple months now. I have needs!" spoke Elijah, angrily and obviously sexually frustrated, prompting Jeremy to smugly chuckle. All that could run through my mind was how could someone be so hateful and so narrow-minded. Just listening to Elijah say that comment I immediately knew what kind of guy he was. He was Jeremy. Jeremy and Elijah are one in the same, two people who have this misconceived idea that sex is the sole basis of a relationship and the physical comes before the emotional which I believe to be extremely false. Sex is an action to express love when in a serious, committed relationship. Unless it's porn in which case that last statement is completely invalid. I want sex to be something of only special matters particularly the first time I'm with a guy. I want romance, I want to be blown away with passion and tenderness. I don't want raw, emotionless sex, which could just as well be reduced to a one night stand. And of course, down the line, when the bond is stronger between us, my partner and I can enjoy sex as an action, and not exclusively as an emotion.

"Ugh, I know exactly what you mean. My last boyfriend, Sonny, was such a prude like the Will you're describing. We didn't have sex either. He kept repeating that he wanted it to be special and magical. I mean, what's wrong with sex? Sex is really fun. I need some ass, you know," retorted Jeremy also irritably. He had just crossed the line and made it even more personal to ME by bringing ME up. I've had enough of this bullshit. I had to put up with it when I was dating him and I'm sure as hell not gonna put up with it after I broke up with him. Will and I have been reduced to simple pieces of meat, to walking "asses" waiting to be devoured. Pigs don't even characterize them: it would be an insult to pigs everywhere. Jeremy and Elijah needed to get a taste of their own awful, deceitful medicine. And fast.

"Nothing. As a matter of fact, they should date each other. That way they'll never have sex! But now, I have you, so they can go fuck each other." The pair busted out in laughter and resumed their make out session. It was actually incredibly weird. It was as if the knowing that they were cheating on an innocent, young man was a turn-on and made everything all the more pleasurable. Needless to say, they weren't right and they needed to be exposed. I'm sure as hell not going to sit back and let Will, one of the best people I know, be lied to like this. Oh and yeah, Will and I most probably will end up dating because I know that he cares for me just as I care for him... Well one can be hopeful, right? Anyways, I pulled out my phone and did what I had to do.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Here's another chapter for you guys. It's one fo the biggest ones yet. Hope you enjoy, leave me reviews please! Thank you all so much 3**

A few days. I hadn't spoken to Will in a few days and my mind was going crazy. To be more specific, it has been four days. I want to talk to him, I desperately want to tell him everything I know about Elijah and Jeremy but I can't muster up the courage to do so. If I end up losing him as a friend because of my confession, I could never forgive myself but more importantly, I could never forgive Elijah or Jeremy for hurting Will, two disgusting, deceitful, lying assholes.

Just thinking about it, telling him everything, makes me sick to my stomach. Losing him would be so difficult. I know, I know, he's not my boyfriend, but it doesn't mean I can't care about him. And who knows, maybe one day we'll end up going on a date or something, but that hope may end up being shattered if I told him. I have this growing feeling in my gut that I should tell him, that telling him would clear my ever bearing conscious and make him realize what a tool Elijah is; and it's growing, big time. Over the course of these four days, my guilt has developed exponentially. Of course, it wasn't that domineering guilt from a couple weeks ago that was taking over my life, but it was still extremely present.

I needed time. Well at least more time. Although I haven't spoken to Will, I have observed him around school and around town, not in that stalker kind of way but more like in a concerned-for-a-friend way. And if there's one thing I noticed was that he was happy. In fact, he was really happy, overjoyed even. I had heard from Abby that he was doing great, really great actually. She also informed me that since the last time we spoke, meaning since me and him went out last, he's been an all more content person. When she informed me of that yesterday, my gloomed and confused state quickly revered to a huge smile. Was I really the one to make him this happy? I was half convinced because Abigail had given me a certain look when she told me, a look that spelled out "maybe you're the reason he's happier" which I was oh so common with. Maybe Will wanted more from me, maybe he wanted more than friendship. One can hope, I guess.

If there was one that I was fully convinced of however was that I missed him. I missed talking to him. I missed his laughter, his smile, the way his cologne brushed up against my nose ever so slightly. But above all of those aspects of Will that I yearned for, I longed for our talks the most. Will was that type of guy who would stay up with a friend all night to discuss THEIR issues, and not because he felt like he had an obligation to do so as a friend, but because he wanted to. He's that type of guy who would blow off his plans for a friend in need, and who would pay for diner on a date and be a perfect gentleman. And he proved all of that to me in the short time, meaningful as it may be, we knew each other. Will was the first one to talk me through things, to make me feel less awful about myself. He was basically the Joey to my Chandler, but at the same time, the Ross to my Rachel. I know, confusing.

Again, confessing what I know might ruin all of that and I may end up missing these qualities for a very long time...

It was a cool, crisp Monday night and I had decided, after a long night of reading and brushing up on my shows I have missed, to go out for a small walk. The weather was beautiful, not too cold, not too hot. The stars were beaming in the sky, the moon was in full circle, so truly a night that can only be defined as perfect.

I was walking through Horton Town Square as I usually do on my walks or my runs which happen frequently. I find they are a fantastic way of clearing my head and conversely filling my head with ideas and going through my thoughts.

It's funny, even at 9 o'clock, the Square is still jam packed with people. Some are in pairs, couples, that is, while others are amongst friends, laughing, talking, drinking. Some are sipping a piping hot cup of coffee, engrossing themselves in a good book, getting lost in a world where our everyday problems and queries become practically nonexistent and unimportant, a place where our imagination run free and nothing can stop us.

As I approached the Brady Pub, my anxiety grew stronger and it became quite visible on my face. I felt my heart race at twice its normal speed, my palms were getting progressively sweaty and my step, more and more unhurried. The weird part was I had no recollection of Will telling me he worked Monday nights. I knew he closed often and just that the days in which he worked varied from week to week according to his schedule and course work load. If I was going to have a conversation with Will about the whole Jeremy/Elijah situation, it would not be at the Brady Pub and definitely would need to be planned out first.

I could see the pub sign from a far and thought to myself just how vital it would be to begin breathing normally. The last thing I would want to happen would be for Will or anyone for that matter to find me passed out from hyperventilation. So, I inhaled deeply and slowly stepped towards the Brady Pub. I boosted the speed of my step a little more after each one as I approached the establishment. As I turned the corner and placed myself within eye shot of the glass windows that covered the walls, I saw no one inside. No one seemed to be there, no Will, no Caroline, no other employee, no one. I was in the clear, thank god! Or so I thought...

I walked in front of the pub somewhat nonchalantly, thinking deep down that my chances of bumping into Will have been reduced to practically none.

Suddenly, I felt an immense pull from my left arm. Someone was dragging me from my side by latching onto my arm fairly insistently, catching me tremendously off guard. Negative thoughts quickly entered my mind, conjuring up possible explanations as for what was going on; kidnapping? Robbery? Both? But then my immediate surmises were shattered when I peaked to the body that was pulling me ever so aggressively, but also rather playfully.

"Will? What the fuck? You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled, in all seriousness. My heart had literally fallen to the floor.

Will walked around me and closed the door of the pub, locking it tightly. I could tell simply through his amble something was bothering him, how his usually smiling face and displaying beautiful grin had disappeared. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Excuse me?" I asked confused as one might expect.

"You've been avoiding me for the past four days. I've texted you and called you a few times." He was visibly flustered. That look he usually gives me had vanished and turned heated and worrisome.

I was speechless. I had no idea what to do. Was now the right time or not... "I-I, uh, have been busy, that's all."

"Don't give me that bullcrap. You aren't working, you're not in school so the homework load is absent. What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I offend you? What's wrong?"

"No... You did nothing wrong, I promise. It's just..."

"It's just what, Sonny? I thought we were friends, I thought you could trust me." His voice amplified and his arms began flailing intensely. I just awoke the beast and all I could think about was how much I missed his voice, his cologne and his amazing sense of friendship. He rambled on some more, moving around the pub a little and my feelings just kept pouring into my brain, feelings of guilt, of melancholy, of... love. "... we went out for a nice day. I had so much fun that night. An-And I had helped you write your Dad's letter that same exact day. And this is how you repay me? With the silent treatment? I can't believe this. I..." And he continued on and on again.

I was growingly antsy and agitated. I needed to shut him up, I needed to get through to him and make him listen to me explain my motives for my distance. His pacing had intensified and his speech arose in amplitude, clearly livid. I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to burst with irritation. My distress had in itself upped a couple stages and started biting my lip as a way of restraining myself. But contain myself I couldn't do much longer.

"WILL!" I shouted across the pub, stopping Will dead in his tracks a few feet ahead of me. He breathed heavily for a few seconds, staring profoundly into my gaze, a look of confusion and rage. I was pretty sure we stayed like that for a couple seconds, but I needed to break the silence and quick. And there was only way to do so: let my feelings speak for themselves and just get it over with, hopefully not get hurt in the process.

I dropped my bag to the floor, sauntered over to him quite rapidly and let it all out there... I kissed him. As a matter of fact, we kissed each other. I felt him kiss me back and the next thing I knew, our tongues were battling furiously, trying to find common ground, and very passionately as well. His arms wrapped themselves around my waist, drawing me closer and prompting me to place mine around his neck.

Cloud nine. That's where I were.

**Author's Note: It will get steamier next chapter, I promise. The hotness is only beginning :) hihi**


	12. Chapter 12

My body up against his. Our lips locked in a feverish kiss, tongues fighting for just a taste of the other. Our arms wrapped around one another as if we were a real couple. It was incredible. I still couldn't believe the events that were taking place. I've been yearning for Will's touch for so long, for our lips to be pressed together in perfect harmony, although I was expecting our first kiss to be slightly more romantic, like after our first date, as tradition has it. I say, fuck tradition. This kiss was filled with passion, with sexual tension and with emotion. It may seem weird but I felt Will's true emotions through the kiss. I could tell he wanted to kiss me. I could tell he enjoyed it a lot.

I moved my arms that were stationed upon his shoulders down towards his lower back, slowly and sensually trailing downward his spine with my fingers. As I reached it, I intensified the hold and brought his body closer to mine, our chests rubbing furiously. His right hand slid up my left arm gently and achieved my cheek to which he grazed with his thumb. God was his hand soft, unlike any guy I've ever dated. His stroke weakened my knees all the more and sent shivers down my spine, in a good way. Scratch that. In an exhilarating way. And the intensity with which he was embracing the kiss and my presence, my feelings seemed to be reciprocated. Or so I thought...

I suddenly felt a pressure on my chest, as if someone was trying to push me away with great force. To my utter dismay, it was Will. Who could it have been though, right? We were the only two people at the Brady Pub. Our lips parted for a couple of seconds and I immediately missed them, missed the physicality already. Will made his way around me and began pacing back and forth rather rapidly, with extreme nerves and regret in his face. His hands were rested atop his head, fingers brushed through his hair. I sat down unhurriedly on the bar stool and tilted my head down in shame. Have I just made a huge mistake? Did I move too fast? I needed to know. I couldn't afford to lose him over a mistake I made. Well a mistake Sexual Sonny made.

"Is, uh... is everything okay, Will?" I spoke in a subtle tone, not wanting to sound to presumptuous. "Was it not what..."

Silence. He was still pacing, dreadfully deep in thought. "Will?" I voiced simply, question in my attitude.

"Yeah!" he jolted up from his trance, strangely, like nothing had happened. "Uhm... I'm sorry. I'm just trying to fathom what just happened..."

"Well we kissed."

"Yeah we did... But I have a boyfriend which means I cheated. Wow..." Will's expression turned to shock. And quite literally too. Much like you would see on a TV show or in a story, his draw dropped. It was as if he had committed the most heinous of crimes, worse than murder. He took a seat on a close by chair in a much more shaking manner as he had difficulty positioning himself properly on it and almost tumbled over. The strain in his eyes, the disbelief, and the guilt in his appearance were particularly evident. His gaze wondered and finally caught mine. "I... cheated..."

"No you didn't." I couldn't hold it in much longer. "You didn't cheat, believe me."

"Uhm Sonny, we just kissed. And not just a peck, a big kiss. Don't get me wrong I loved it. It was probably the best kiss I've ever had." I smiled slightly and worded a little 'yes' in my head while clenching my fist subtly in victory. Will lifted up from his seat and drew himself closer to me, making his way in between my legs and staring at me with so much intent. "Look, Sonny. As much as I like you, actually I really like you, we can't do this. I have a boyfriend. I love Elijah." My head dropped once more. This time in pain. I couldn't bare myself to hear him say he loved Elijah, that two-timing scum bag, that cheater. Will clasped my hand and intertwined his fingers in mine. Once again, his slightest touch made me forget about my issues, made me forget about what I had witnessed a few days ago between Elijah and Jeremy at the park and how awfully deceitful it was of them. Vanished, and by a simple touch.

It was coming up. Just like word vomit. Everything I knew about Will's boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend was gently making its way up to my mouth. This needed to be done. Anxious and uneasy as hell, I straightened my posture, inhaled profoundly and began. "Will... I-I need to tell you something. Well actually I need to show you something."

I hesitatingly pulled out my phone. I did so with much uncertainty because I was still unsure of my decision. That ever so conflicting dilemma came back into my thoughts. Should I restrain myself or should I just confess to everything? At this moment, with Will a few inches away from me, declaring his love for Elijah without having the least bit of idea what I knew, the latter was the definite clearer, less consequential option. Hesitation aside, I pulled out my phone, gently pressed my finger upon the Photos app and the rest sort of unfolded on its own.

I scrolled through the pictures and found the pieces of evidence I have been keeping to myself for what seemed like an eternity. I have spent countless hours (yes, hours) staring down these pictures, concocting possible yet fictitious situations in which I tell Will everything. The one which I was presented with was nothing like the one I had imagined. The circumstances had changed, yes, but the primary goal behind hadn't: Will deserved the truth, he deserved to know everything. And I mean everything...

"Look at this." I showed him the first picture and told to swipe the screen to the left to showcase more of them. All I could do was study the lines on his face and hope he wouldn't get upset with me or worse, burst out in tears, painful, heartbroken tears.

A couple moments had passed and his facial expressions hadn't budged, although his frown became more visible. He continued to swipe through the pictures and the anger that fueled his eyes exceedingly grew after each photo. As his finger grazed upon the final picture, the one where Elijah and Jeremy are clearly seen in a passionate lip lock (I had moved to a different location for a better angle) and the slideshow had drawn to a close, I noticed him latch onto my phone tighter and tighter, so tight in fact the veins on his hand were practically popping out. There wasn't anything I could say to make him feel any better at this moment and the only thing I could think of was the most cliché, the most neutral and basic line one can say in a situation like this one.

"I'm sorry," I barely verbalized, not really expecting much in return.

Suddenly, my phone was the victim of a violent collision with the wall, prompting a loud thump. Will flung it across the pub, breaking on impact. Surprise and just the tiniest bit of anger were painted on my face. "Hey! I get your upset, but that's my phone, geez. The least you could've done was-" I was swiftly interrupted, and boy what an interruption it was.

Our lips had met again and this time it wasn't as sensual and dirty as the first kiss, but so incredibly, beautifully tender and soft. I caringly cupped his face with my hands while he mirrored my movements. Our contact was as soft as can be, the embrace, sweet as honey. My smashed phone was no longer an issue for me to warrant my immediate attention and could easily be replaced. Once again, it felt like cloud nine. A much softer cloud, however.

But amidst these wonderful emotions, something wasn't right to me. It took all of the strength and will power inside of me to push him away just as he had done to me however I needed to come clean about one more thing before this could evolve into anything more.

"Will, there's something else I need to tell you first." Will's brows furrowed and he cocked his head to the side slightly. His hands remained in a cup postition on my face, comforting me oh so gently.

"For the past couple weeks, I've been fighting these feelings, feelings of wanting more than just a friendship, a sense of closeness to a guy, that I've never felt with anyone else in my entire life. As much as I wanted and had the utmost desire to act on my emotions, I couldn't because this guy had a boyfriend. Ever since the night I found out he was off the market, after spending the most amazing night of my life by his side, I never really was going to do anything about these said feelings and urges because it wouldn't have been the kind and proper way of approaching it." I noticed Will etch a small smile on his face, his dimples showing ever so slightly atop his silky skin. I guess it had become clear to him that I was referring to him. "Yeah, so, I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even Jeremy. You've been there to guide me through such an awful time in my life to which I will forever owe you an immense debt of gratitude. I always wished, and I'm gonna sound so awful and selfish, but I hoped that one day we would find a way to each other. Not under these conditions, obviously, but in time." I took a deep pause and evaluated Will's stare. I may have been daydreaming but his gorgeous eyes sparkled, their blue quality emanating a certain joy and... hope.

"Will Horton, I think I'm falling for you."


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" I asked him as we entered his apartment with an exceeded amount of speed. He nodded simply, peaking through his lips a sweet, little smile which revealed his incredible white teeth. "I don't just wanna be your rebound..."

"You're not. I want this too." My heart sank. And in an amazing way.

Here we were, panting through multiple erotic kisses, our chests bumping up against each other. Never in a million years did I ever see myself in such an intimate position with a man like Will Horton. I know it's wrong since he just technically ended things with Elijah. Well, not really end things since he never really called him or told him in person they were done. After I told him my little secret, he just sort of stared at me and smirked. And for a split second, I swear I saw his gorgeous blues sparkle with excitement and happiness. Then, he just grabbed me and kissed me. And rather passionately but not overly so. It was... perfect to say the least. Now, we are at his place, making out. I was in heaven.

As we made our way to the bed, of course while more kissing ensued, the clothes started peeling off quite rapidly starting with our tops and making our way downwards until only the boxers remained. However, when he took off his shirt, I was immediately halted in my tracks. Literally. Will exposed to me what I can only describe as one of the best bodies I have ever seen in my entire life. His chest was nothing short of spectacular, his abs were flawlessly defined and his shoulders, just stunning. I just gazed at him, from top to bottom, thinking about how lucky I was to have such an amazing guy standing in front of me. I could tell he was puzzled with me because I stopped everything to simply stare at him. "Wow..."

"What?" he wondered, confusingly.

"Just... wow."

He caught on. "Oh please." He grabbed me aggressively but also with a certain calm stature, pressing his ever so soft lips on mine. We almost immediately plopped ourselves onto the bed, our tongues caught in a feverish battle for pleasure. Will was lying on top of me, our hips thrusting slowly with a great amount of yearn and desire, feeling each other's hardness through our underwear. "Well hello," I said in between kisses, winking coyly. He returned with a sexually enticing grin and without the slightest hint of trepidation, resumed the kissing.

His hands slid more and more downwards as the kissing grew intense. I felt his supple touch all over my chest, increasing drastically my pleasure levels and the amplitude of my moans, so simple yet so fucking effective. I could feel him reach my underwear and to my wonderful, arousing surprise, he slipped his hand in them. He slowly caressed the hardness that pierced through as I laid my head back in complete stimulation. His lips moved from being glued to mine to providing me with satisfaction around my neck which was my all time weakness.

My hands began clawing at his beautiful, perfectly toned back, trying not to leave any scratches. Although, no promises were made. And my arousal could make me do things I wouldn't necessarily want to do.

"Oh Will..." I let out a cry of pleasure, and a longing for so much more that so obviously comes with such a plea. I was ready for more, for more of Will.

"You're enjoying yourself?" he spoke in such a voice that my knees felt weak. It was filled with passion and I could easily tell he was deriving just as much pleasure from what he was doing. He gazed deeply into my eyes with such desire, want and care. Yes, care. Will's genuinely sweet nature was one of the qualities I loved most about him. As much as he wanted to make me feel good, he wanted for me to be taken care of and be happy. All of that, all those emotions were seen solely in his stare and the evident smile that was displayed on his face.

At that single moment, I thought to myself that maybe he really did want this. Yes, I had my reservations about Will and whether or not he wanted any of this, but I didn't want to vocalize my queries just yet and give Will a chance to prove to me that he really wanted this as much as I did. He told me he was as invested as I was, but a little voice in my head was questioning everything, telling me that I was just another rebound which was the last thing I wanted to be labelled as. But Will's smiles, his actions have proven to me that maybe he's really into me the way I am. And quite the dirty minded person too. Just like me.

I merely nodded showcasing as much craving that could be presented through a nod. "Are you?" I asked somewhat timidly, my cheeks blushing slightly.

"I am. A lot. Actually..." He, much to my shock, crawled off of me and sat down seriously at the foot of the bed, his head tilted down as if in shame or in embarrassment. But those two emotions didn't seem to fit quite properly and thought that something else was up, other than what was going on in our pants. And I was right. "I want to tell you something, something I should've told you when we were at the pub and you confessed you're... liking of me."

Nervous as fuck. What was going on? Was he already ending things between us? Either way, I needed answers and quick or else my head was going to implode and my heart, drop to the floor. "Okay... you're scaring me, Will. What's going on?" I copied his movements and took a seat next to him at the edge of the bed.

He turned to me, eyes filled with emotion. "What I should've told you back at the pub was that... I too think I'm falling for you. I know, I know, I was seeing Elijah but every time we spent time together, you somehow crept into my mind, in a good way. No, no. In an amazing way."

My heart skipped a beat for a second or two hearing those words. D-Did he really confess his "liking" of me too? Suddenly, I found myself once again on cloud nine, a place only Will seemed to take me to, a place of bliss. "You, uh... feel the same way?"

"Are you so shocked? After what we were doing just a few moments ago?" he laughed adorably, scratching the back of his head in wonder.

"Well, honestly? I kinda thought I was your rebound guy and that that's why you kissed me," I said shamefully, not anticipating the response. I turned with reservation to Will and gazed upon him to try and analyze his face, his oh so handsome face.

"Never. You were never ever gonna be a rebound for me." He slipped his hand into mine, squeezing it faintly and meaningfully deepened the look between us. "Sonny, I value you too much to be reduced down to a rebound guy. You're so much more than that, okay? Everything that happened so far, I wanted to happen. Everything. And you know what?"

"What?" I doubted.

"I want more. I mean, I want to do more stuff with you like go to a movie or go for a run in the morning together or just hang out and eat a nice home cooked dinner. Bottom line is I wanna be around you, Sonny. Not Elijah, not anyone else. You."

"Really? Y-You mean it? You're not just bullshitting me?"

"Nope, no bullshit here, trust me. You're worth it." And there he goes with that ever killing smile. I guess, he really does want to be with me. Hearing him say that put all my prior insecurities away and threw them out the window. As a response, a smile painted itself on my lips, showing off my small cheek wrinkles. This flaunt of emotion prompted Will to mirror my smirk although divulging his own faultless dimples. Once again, I was entranced by his beautiful teeth and facial features; soft cheeks, striking blue eyes, pearly white teeth, acne-free skin.

When I thought I was falling for Will, I was not sugar coating anything. But now, I can officially say that I have fallen and I could not be any more gleeful. And to know the feelings are being reciprocated? Nothing or no one could destroy my mood.

"I can't wait to do all those things with you, as a couple," I admitted warmly, bringing myself closer to him on the bed, expecting us to seal the deal with a little kissing.

"Me too!" And I was right. We kissed. A soft yet hard kiss. Amazing. "So..." he pulled away for a couple of seconds, "you wanna go back to where we were?"

"Oh hell yeah!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have school and work and a bunch of shit to do and haven't found the time. I will try to update more often but no promises as I am still in school and still in work lol**

**About this chapter, I refrained from the smut FOR NOW because I don't wanna go right into on their first time. I want to go into further detail when they go on REAL first date and have sex for the REAL first time, you know? Anyways, the smut is to come so stay tuned hehe **

**Thank you for all the reviews and follows. You guys are amazing and I love you all xoxo keep em coming :)**

* * *

**June 19****th**** 2013**

_Yup, Will and I had sex. I couldn't believe it even as it was happening. Every single touch, every moment, every kiss made my arousing senses go crazy, and in an amazingly perfect way. The way Will's hands caressed my skin, the way he contoured my body with his lips, every movement was sheer perfection. Now, I like to consider myself good in bed, but how Will was making me feel desired and wanted and yes, loved, was just the icing on top of a very sexually incredible experience. _

_I always thought to myself that my first time with Will would be passionate, but sensual. And it was all of that, and then some. I felt like I was with the man I was supposed to be, the man I want to spend all my nights in bed with. Never in my right mind did I think that a guy has outstanding and respectful and beautiful would fall for someone like me, even after he confessed how much he cared about me. That was probably the single happiest moment in my life, and God only knows that a happy moment was something I was in dire need for. _

_If there was one thing I was certain of was that if there was anyone I wanted comfort from, it was Will. If I look back on when I met Will and all of our times together, he was the perfect guy all along and I was utterly oblivious. I realized too late just precious and unique his character was and how very sweet he was with me, nothing would've happened to him. I mean, if I had been up front about my feelings, he probably wouldn't have gone to Elijah which would've prevented me from finding out about him and Jeremy and therefore avoiding Will the heartache. _

_But, being the new Sonny, the positive Sonny I'd like to think if any of that wouldn't have happened, last night would have just been another sleepless one for me with the hopes of having Will by my side. _

_Like he is right now, lying down right next to me, sleeping, a smile perched gently upon his ever so soft lips. I guess when he acknowledged his feelings for me, he meant it. I mean, the smile he has on his face right now is just... just Will. And there's nothing or no one else I want, just Will._

_Oh and one more thing? And in no way am I justifying that it matters, because it doesn't, but... Will is EXTREMELY gifted. Really, really... really endowed. Just... wow._

"You know, you could've told me you had no food in your apartment. I would've gone to get snacks," I said observantly looking through the fridge, hoping something will jump out at me.

"What? I have snacks and things. You just gotta look harder!" I notice him through the corner of my eye getting off the bed and stepping towards me, his shirtless body being exposed in all its fantastic glory.

"No you don't. I see yogurt, some orange juice, a few apples, a fruit cup and some kale which is fucking disgusting by the way," I laugh. Kale was my least favourite vegetable in the world and to think Will had some in his fridge made me chuckle inside. Don't ask why.

"Hey!" he yelled jokingly, lightly punching me on shoulder prompting me to fake an injury, as if he had hit me with utmost force and aggression. "Kale is a great source of fiber, iron, has powerful antioxidants, calcium and Vitamins A, C and K. It's extremely healthy and you could benefit from it... Sonny!"

"Oh sorry, I kinda dosed off a little after you said 'great'." I must be really funny because Will was practically on the floor with laughter. I could get lost in his giggle, it was so adorable. And his teeth? Oh my god, they were free of flaws.

I moved towards the cupboard where I was seriously wishing for some sort of a decent snack or something. As I was opening the doors, something clicked in my mind that I didn't quite understand. "Wait... you said that I could benefit from kale? What does that mean? Do you think I need to lose weight or something?" I uttered, trying my best to keep a serious face all the while inside grinning hugely. I knew Will was only speaking hypothetically, but it's always nice to mess around a bit, right?

"Uhm... no. I was just saying that... I didn't mean to... You know I find you're perfect right?"

I was taken aback. No one has ever told me that I was perfect nor did I expect anyone to. No one is perfect; everyone has some sort of flaw whether it be physically or in their character. However, Will has shown me neither and seemed to be the only one to defy the laws of perfection. The crinkles in his smile, the way he frowns oh so adorably, his ostensibly ideal beaming smile, all challenging what faultlessness really means. I couldn't help but smile myself at his remark and I was sure to make it evident to him just how flattered I was. I leaned forward and pressed my lips on his, gently cupping his face with my hand, my thumb stroking his supple, slightly tubby yet cute cheek. "Well you know I think you are too, right?" I added releasing myself from the lip lock.

"Now you're crazy. I'm hardly in the vicinity of perfection, please," he spoke, his insecurities shining through.

"Stop, you're amazing, sweet, caring, generous, honest and, if I may say so myself, hot as hell."

Suddenly, I noticed him blush and it was the single most adorable thing ever. His cheeks turned a shy shade of red verging on a slight pink. Needless to say, my smile couldn't be constrained and practically reached my ears which only shows my care for Will. He makes me smile, that's it, that's what's important. "It's true." I shrug my shoulders lightly. "Now, let's find a snack or something and let's go back to bed. It's 8am. It's not like we have school or anything, we can sleep in." I wrap my arms around his waist, frivolously grazing and feeling every inch of his impeccably soft skin with my fingertips which encouraged him to place his arms around my neck. I swiftly sensed his fingers latch onto and fiddle around with my ears ever so nonchalantly. I liked this arrangement. It felt right, comfortable, like two puzzle pieces meant to be clicked together, as if we had been practicing this position for years.

"I may have some cookies in the pantry and then we'll go back to bed okay?" he questioned lazily, his hands alternating between playing through my ears and hair. "Okay!" I acquiesced happily, creating distance between us to look through the pantry. And yes, there were in fact cookies. Oreos, to be exact. I know right? The guy who was giving me a lecture on the health benefits on kale has Oreos in his pantry. My look gave out exactly that statement and Will definitely realized.

"What? I can have Oreos, I like junk food at times."

"Yeah, yeah. Now get the cookies and let's go back to bed." I gently tapped his butt, which by the way, is so pretty and squeezable, if that makes any sense at all.

"Okay, if you had to, if you absolutely had to choose, who would you do: Jake Gyllenhaal or Channing Tatum?" I posed casually, my mouth full of cookies and milk, my head resting leisurely on his shirt free torso. We had spent the past half hour talking about male, and female as a matter of fact, celebrities we found attractive and who we'd "do."

"Okay so Channing has that body, you know, that killer body, but Jake is a lot more rugged and to tell you the truth, I like dark haired guys more," he pointed out, winking in a cavalier manner.

"Oh do you now..." I moved up towards his face and smashed our lips together, my fingers unhurriedly contouring the outline of his Pecs.

He steered himself away from my lips for a second and enquired the same question I had to which I responded something I thought at the time to be tremendously clever and witty. "Well, to tell you the truth, I like blonds, they have more fun." I proceeded to copy Will's gesture and winked, adding a certain sensuality to it.

He chuckled. We kissed. Eep. Nothing could ruin this night. Nothing. No bad news, no screwed up exes, no one. It was just us. Me and Will. In a wonderful, perfect moment.

**(UNKOWN PERSON'S POV)**

"A-Are you sure?" I fronted in my fear stricken voice, filled with strain and confusion. Never in my right mind did I believe this would happen to me. Me, of all people.

"I am so incredibly sorry. I will leave give you two some time to evaluate your options of possible treatment," informed the doctor, as he exited the now sombre, dark office room.

I couldn't handle it anymore. The wall of protection that had formed in front of my eyes that stood before my tears couldn't be held up anymore and the tears started flowing down my cheeks, slowly gliding down to my lips, tasting the saltiness that constituted them. My life was falling apart...

* * *

**Author's Note (2): As for the last part, I wanted to do something different and bring forth a new problem that will touch WilSon. I am not divulging the character's name till later on hence why I put the "unknown person's POV" thing, so keep reading on if you wanna find out who and how it affects our boys :)**


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